Grief can make us do a lot of strange things.

Rather, it can *influence us* to do a lot of strange things.

The truth it, it can’t MAKE us do anything, and hard as it is, it’s our job to override that influence when it nudges us toward something drastic.

Otherwise, there will just be more pain.

AITA My mother refuses to acknowledge my spinal cord injury isn’t fixable and I finally snapped at her

Basically what the title says, I (17f) broke my back just over two years ago, my spinal cord suffered severe damage and it has left me physically disabled.

I can stand on my own and walk short distances, but doing so often puts me in excruciating pain.

They’ve tried a lot, but there’s only so much that can be done.

Over the last two years I have had 3 surgeries to try repair the damage, and while they have lessened pain in some areas, the full injury cannot be repaired.

My mother (55f) refuses to accept this and over the last two years has pushed me into more and more treatments even if I didn’t want them, claiming every time that this would be the one that cured me.

Both I and my father have tried to tell her that the nerve damage is permanent, and that the best course of action is to simply try preserve my back so I retain mobility as I get older (which is what three separate doctors have advised).

Getting a second opinion is one thing.

Getting a fourth opinion when three doctors already said the same thing is just being stubborn.

My mother won’t listen to us, she’s become obsessed with trying to “fix” me, and “get me back to my old self”.

She keeps signing me up for treatments and programs without asking or after I’ve already said no.

These treatments are usually exercise-based or based on holistic treatment/natural remedies, or even still-experimental procedures, and most of them have only ever left me sore if not injured.

She also refuses to let me have any accommodations (I can’t use a cane, wheelchair, or anything else around her), and often refuses to let me sit or lay down when I’m in pain.

And with that we’ve crossed the line from delusional denial into full-blown abuse.

Over the last year and a half my condition has been deteriorating but my mother acts like she hasn’t noticed, just keeps booking my usual doctors’ appointments.

Now it’s gotten to the point where she insist on being in the doctors’ office with me because she believes that I won’t give reliable information about my symptoms of if I go in alone.

Tonight I just couldn’t take it anymore and broke down crying, telling her to stop trying to “fix” me and just help.

I begged her to just stop pushing me, to just try to accept that I’m not abled-bodied anymore, but she wasn’t having it.

She told me that if Paralympic athletes could do it so could I, that I had to stop making excuses and that she only wanted what is best for me.

She’s just reaching a breaking point.

I understand that denial is part of the grieving process, but I’ve already accepted it, and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ve tried to be understanding but she’s really driving me to the end of my rope.

So AITA for snapping at her?

Let’s see what the comments make of this:

Many said she needed to say something.

This is serious.

Dad seriously needs to step up.

Coming to terms with sad truths is difficult – but denying them pretty much universally makes things worse.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.