Imagine growing up with just your mom, who is a widow. If she was engaged to get married, would you be happy to welcome a new man into your life as a dad, or would you always think of him as your mom’s husband?

In this story, one teenage girl is in this exact situation, and she is fine with her mom getting married. What she’s not fine with is the extra ceremony her mom insists on having where she accepts her stepdad as her dad.

Let’s read the whole story.

My mom and her fiance blame me for not getting married yet AITAH?

My mom started dating her fiance 7 years ago. I (16f) was 9 at the time. She had been a widow since I was 4.

They got engaged when I was 11 but they always wanted me to be involved in their wedding in a way I never wanted to be.

There was some ceremony my mom found online where they wouldn’t just get married but me and her fiance would become dad and daughter and my mom and her fiance really wanted that.

I didn’t. I liked him for my mom but I didn’t like him as a new dad and that’s not a him thing but an anyone thing.

Therapy didn’t change her mind.

We were in therapy for three years (from ages 11 to 14) to try and work on that. But my feelings didn’t change and I didn’t want to take part like they wanted me to.

They delayed the wedding and wedding plans until I was on board with their plan.

But I didn’t get on board with it.

Her mom is really insistent.

Then my mom tried showing me a bunch of wedding videos she found where people and their stepkids did this type of thing. She said it would be so sweet for me and her fiance to do it and to think about all the good having a dad again would bring into my life.

She campaigned for months on that and she told me how special it would be. She even tried to make me feel obligated to do it for her.

I asked her why I couldn’t just be her bridesmaid or something.

She said she wanted the wedding to make us a family, not just her and him a married couple and me her daughter.

I asked why she wanted that so bad and why she couldn’t accept I didn’t want the same thing.

Her stepdad is being unreasonable too.

My mom’s fiance told me several times he really wanted to marry my mom.

I told him he should because they’ve been engaged for years.

He said he didn’t want to marry her and be other. He wanted to be my dad and he wanted us to be a family.

I asked him why I had to agree to something like that for them to get married. I told him I wasn’t the person wanting to marry him.

Her mom is being pretty dramatic.

People started asking about the wedding a lot more last year and wondering if it’ll ever happen.

My mom and her fiance started using me as the excuse and saying I wasn’t on board.

I had to correct it so many times because they made it sound like I was holding mom hostage to not get married. I said I didn’t want to do some stupid bonus ceremony where I choose him as my dad and he chooses me as his daughter.

My mom said I was trying to ruin their wedding and so they were waiting for me to be on board.

Her mom is still trying to talk her into his bonus ceremony.

A while ago my mom told me they both blame me for delaying their wedding. She told me if I loved her and wanted her to be happy I’d do this for her and I’d do this for him so he doesn’t feel like he’s a forever outsider who’ll be just the guy she’s with and not my dad.

She told me dad would have wanted someone like her fiance for us and he would have wanted me to have a dad I could grow up with.

AITAH?

I don’t think her mom will ever marry this guy. If they wait 2 years, she’ll be 18, and then she doesn’t even have to attend the wedding if she doesn’t want to.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

They are definitely trying to guilt trip her.

Here’s a suggestion of how to respond to her mom.

Here’s another suggestion of what to tell her mom.

They really are being ridiculous.

It’s pretty crazy.

Maybe her mom doesn’t really want to get married.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.