Resentment has a way of building quietly when one person keeps picking up the slack without saying anything.

So, what would you do if you handled nearly all the cooking and groceries for years while your partner focused on work and career changes? Would you just accept this as your responsibility? Or would you finally speak up and ask them to help sometimes?

In the following story, one boyfriend finds himself in this scenario and decides to say something.

AITA for asking my girlfriend to participate more in cooking

I’ve lived with my girlfriend for 2-3 years. When we started dating, I used to live at her place because I lived in a different country, and I came to her place for periods of 1-3 months at a time.

When we started dating, she had a really busy internship period, while I was working remotely, so naturally, I took care of the food side. I made sure we always had food ready when she came home. I went and did the groceries, and paid everything on my own.

Then, after graduation, she started applying for full-time jobs, and this period took over a year.

As time went on, he just kept handling the food.

Again, I did 95% of the cooking so she can focus on applying herself in peace. Sometimes she helped me cut some veggies. She barely cooked once a month, and if she did, it was on her own schedule, which meant it was always the last thing on it.

Sometimes I was starving until 8 PM, but she never even said, “Hey, are you hungry? Sorry, I’m running late.” And in the end, we ended up ordering food. She just did it when it fit her. I let it be.

She finally got her job after a year, and we finally moved to a new apartment together. Of course, now she has a new job, and it’s hectic at the beginning, so I just continued to take care of the food and groceries, yet she has 2-3 remote days a week.

Fed up, he confronted her.

Now, for me, the past 2-3 weeks were very heavy at work, and I’ve been close to burning out.

However, I still cooked every meal during this period, so yesterday on the weekend, she was supposed to cook, and it was again around 5 PM, and then she said, “Hey, it’s late already, should we order, or do you go do the groceries for me so I can cook?”

Then I started feeling bad, and I told her I feel a bit unfair that I do all the cooking all the time, and when it’s your turn, I still have to work for it or end up spending a lot of money to order stuff.

She got very defensive.

To this comment, she snapped and started saying that she never asked me to cook, and we should start cooking our own meals in the future because she doesn’t have the mental capacity and energy to participate in this work.

She also said she’s not even eating my food since she’s at the office all the time (she’s remote 2-3 days a week), and I eat maybe one meal more than her at home.

After almost 3 years, this was the first time I mentioned this, and I said it very politely and calmly.

AITA?

Eek! It’s obvious why he’s so upset about all this.

Let’s see what the readers over at Reddit think.

Here’s someone who thinks the girlfriend is unreasonable.

For this reader, he should’ve spoken up sooner.

There are no winners according to this comment.

This person sees both sides.

He should rethink the whole thing.

If this isn’t something he wants to live with, then it may be time to call it quits.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.