Helping family is usually the right thing to do, but sometimes, it can start taking a toll on you.

Imagine you spent years helping your sibling with childcare, but through no fault of your own, your situation changes, and you can’t keep doing it the same way. Would you keep trying to make it work for them? Or would you finally put your own needs first, even if it makes them upset?

In the following story, one woman deals with this exact situation and chooses herself. Here’s what happened.

AITA for telling my brother he needs to find new childcare?

I (28F) have been babysitting my brother’s (25M) boys since his oldest was born (almost 4 now). I switched my work schedule to be able to watch the boys after my overnight shifts and to better help him so he and his wife can still work.

All was well for a bit until they decided to have a second kid, and I was getting super burnt out with hardly any sleep, as sometimes they wouldn’t get home until 4-5 pm, and I had to be up for work by 8 pm, leaving me 3-4 hours of sleep a night.

I tried to set boundaries, but ultimately caved to their pressure, along with my parents on their side. Their solution was for me to come home and nap, then go over to watch the boys before going home to sleep some more (5-6 hours a day) for $100 a month to watch both boys.

When he reminded them, they blew up at her.

I gave them a 2-year timeline and told them that if they had a third child, I would be done watching them.

Well, recently I lost my job, and I’ve been out of a job for almost 2 months. I’ve been applying for full-time and part-time work for all shifts/hours, and I finally got hired. The issue is I have 2 days of orientation this month, and I don’t start part-time day shift until the end of April, maybe the end of May.

I told my brother and his wife I’d have orientation for 2 days this month, and went to remind them again yesterday, only for everything to blow up.

I was basically told I’m a major **** up and disappointment that needs to grow up because when our parents pass, he’s not going to keep bailing me out or helping me as I do, and that no one will be able to take those two days off, and I have to watch the boys.

Now, they’re mad and won’t speak to her.

Plus, he claims I never told him it was a day shift job because that won’t work for him and ***** everyone else over, meaning they won’t have someone to watch the boys.

After a lot of tears on my part and arguing, I told him I can’t pass up a job that’s willing to pay when I have no other job prospects at the moment, and that I will be going to the orientation those 2 days this month, and he has until the end of April to find alternate childcare.

Now neither he nor his wife will talk to me, except to ask when the baby last had a bottle when they walk in the door, because they now have to figure out childcare.

AITA?

Eek! It sounds like she knows what she needs to do.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit think about the whole thing.

This reader thinks the brother has been very lucky.

This person thinks everyone else is in the wrong.

For this person, the brother has been taking advantage.

According to this comment, she’s been bailing them out for years.

Her brother needs to back off and figure out his own childcare.

That’s just ridiculous.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.