Imagine going on a date that was set up by a mutual friend. If you found out on that date that your date had kids, would that change how you felt about them and the potential of your relationship?

In this story, one young woman is in this situation, and she knows she doesn’t want to be a stepmom. Now, the single dad is mad at her, and her friend isn’t too happy either, leaving her wondering if she actually did something wrong.

Let’s read all about it.

AITA for not dating a single dad, even if he’s a victim?

I (19F) recently went on a date with a guy, Ben (25M), after meeting through mutual friends.

He was nice enough at first but I found out he has two kids. One is 7M, which means he became a dad at 18 with a 19 year old and the other is 2M.

She doesn’t want to be a stepmom.

I’ve always known I don’t want to date someone with kids.

There was nothing wrong with him as a person but I just couldn’t see myself in that situation long-term.

I’m not particularly a fan of kids. If I have my own someday, we’ll see, but that’s not happening anytime soon.

However, I don’t think I could handle being a stepmother.

He wanted a second date.

After our first date, he messaged me saying he really liked me and wanted to see me again.

I politely told him I didn’t think it would work out.

That’s when he started pressuring me for a reason. He said he thought we clicked so well, we had the same interests, and he didn’t understand why I was saying no.

I tried to keep it vague at first, but he kept pushing, so I finally told him I wasn’t comfortable dating someone with kids.

He got really defensive.

That set him off.

He started saying things like how he thought younger girls liked experienced men and that I was being judgmental.

Then he said he didn’t plan for any of this to happen and asked “Don’t you think I’m a victim? I was just a dumb kid when I had my first and the second one was a surprise. I don’t even see his kids that often and that we wouldn’t have any problems. I was baby trapped. I have it way harder than you”

The friend who set them up defended Ben.

At that point, I was done. I didn’t reply to him anymore.

The mutual friends who set us up, he told them. They said I was being judgmental. Nobody these days cares about how many baby mamas someone has or about being a stepmom.

I told them I just don’t see myself in that position.

Now, she’s not sure what to do.

My friend said they understand but that I should still apologize to Ben.

So, should I do it? I don’t think I’m wrong, but my friends say my apologizing would make peace for their relationship with Ben too. AITA?

She doesn’t owe Ben an apology. They went out on a date, and she learned enough about him to know it’s not going to work out. It’s okay to decide you don’t want to be a stepmom. She’s thinking long term. If anything, Ben should apologize for getting upset at her.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This is a weird thing to say.

Another person points out a red flag.

I completely agree.

Nobody thinks she should apologize.

You don’t have to apologize for being honest about why you don’t want to date someone.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.