Family visits can be a minefield even when everyone gets along.

Add kids, conflicting schedules, long-distance relatives, and a trip that’s been planned for months, and it’s easy for chaos to ensue.

In this case, a woman and her husband had already booked a vacation to celebrate her best friend’s graduation, something she’d been looking forward to and planning for months.

She had to coordinate a lot of things for the trip to work.

Welp, now her husband’s relatives scheduled their own visit during the exact same timeframe and demand they cancel their trip. Can you believe the audacity?

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for not wanting to cancel my vacation for people I don’t really know?

Me and my husband are going on a trip to visit my best friend for her graduation. This trip had been planned for MONTHS.

My in-laws (husband’s mother’s side) planned a trip to visit my husband’s dad, brothers, dad’s wife (not husband’s mom), and expressed wanting us to visit with our kids as well.

The problem is, the dates overlap terribly.

We leave on the 14th and aren’t back until early morning the 23rd and they visit in the middle of that trip.

It became a negotiation.

They were upset, which I completely understood, and we moved on, or so I thought.

A couple days later my MIL (husband’s mom) adds my husband, herself and I into a group chat and sends SEVERAL paragraphs.

About how upset she and her parents are that her parents can’t see us and the kids and begged us to cancel altogether or reschedule to be with her family.

The thing is, it’s a graduation.

They don’t see it that way, though, apparently.

I can’t just cancel or reschedule it, and it’s going to happen without me there or not, but this means so much to me.

For starters, of course, my best friend is graduating and I’m so proud of her.

On top of all that, I’ve been working privately with her mom to plan this surprise trip and a party, even got a second job and started putting in close to 70 hours a week at work specifically FOR this trip, and don’t even actually know her parents.

We’ve had conversations over the phone that’s lasted about 5 minutes, surface level conversation, usually surrounding my kids, but nothing more than that.

She’s not being mean, it’s just that important to her.

They send gifts for holidays, cards, money every once in a while, but I can’t cancel this trip.

I’ve even tried working with them and going out of my comfort zone by bringing up the idea of my family members whose babysitting drive TWO HOURS so they can see the kids, but they refuse.

Recently, my husband got a text from his mother, yet another ragey paragraph (probably drug induced) about how we hate her and his father (we eloped bc his dad didn’t like the idea of marriage) and that she didn’t know what they did wrong.

They keep messaging him and bothering him about canceling and the trip and blah blah blah..

It’s stressful, and now she’s on the fence about it.

I’m over it, and honestly, this is why I wanted to keep the trip (and our marriage) a secret from his family. It’s always something.

I love his family, I really do, and his grandparents are nice people.

I just don’t understand why they think we’re going to be okay with looking out in $500 in non refundable tickets.. we’re already on a tight budget as is.

AITA?

What a mess. They need to make a decision and stick with it.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who homeschooled during the day and worked at night, only to have her employer try to change her schedule.

What did Reddit think?

A suggestion.

This sounds possibly dangerous.

Yikes.

Another reader chimes in.

Simple like that.

She had already planned this trip months in advance, and I’m sure she communicated that and how important it is to them; they just see themselves as the priority. This screams narcissism.

Everyone knows graduations happen once.

And when nonrefundable tickets are involved, asking someone to cancel isn’t asking for a small favor; there is a lot of sacrifice there, emotional and financial.

She also barely knows them, and this is how they feel comfortable acting with her? Not healthy.

This is why it’s good to keep in mind that you’re marrying their family, too.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who is irate after she gave a group leader money for her daughter’s lunch, only to have him pocket the cash and ask all of the kids to pay their own way.