“Stop Texting Me!”: Employee Outraged After Brother’s Manager Harasses Her Over His Work Hours
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Working for the same company as a sibling can be convenient, but it should not turn one employee into the other person’s unpaid scheduler.
Imagine your brother’s manager repeatedly texting you about his shifts, even during vacations – would you keep passing along the messages, or finally refuse to play middleman?
That is the boundary one woman considers after realizing nearly every conversation with the manager is actually about her brother’s availability.
See why she is ready to silence the group’s least efficient messaging system.
AITA for ignoring a manager’s texts (and WIBTA for blocking his number)?
Me (26F) and my brother Mike (24M) work in different areas of the same company. Each area has its own manager.
My manager is great—respectful of my time and boundaries.
Mike’s manager, Gary (around 45–50M), is… not.
Here’s the problem with Gary.
He’s a fun, slightly ditzy guy, but he has a habit of texting me when he needs Mike to cover shifts.
This started years ago when Mike turned off notifications for our work app and rarely answered calls.
Since I’m on my phone a lot and my brother is chronically offline, Gary started messaging me instead.
Mike had to fight for his job, but he sounds like a valuable employee.
Mike had to leave during COVID for family reasons, came back later, and had to fight for a wage still lower than his coworkers’.
He’s also the only one in his area who knows how to do everything and ends up stuck with the worst shifts.
Eventually, he told management he’d quit unless he got a raise and a more consistent schedule. Mike asked not to be messaged about extra shifts, saying they could talk to him in person due to anxiety.
They agreed.
It was good at first, but then the messages started.
He got a raise ($0.50 less than he asked for) but stayed because they initially respected the new schedule.
That lasted two weeks.
Then Gary started asking me again.
And here’s the kicker: since the rehire, Gary always messages me first, and only me, clearly assuming I’ll pass the message along in person since Mike doesn’t check his phone.
She doesn’t like being stuck in the middle.
I get that now hearing about the anxiety conversation they had, but it’s so annoying. I’ve told my coworkers and Gary himself that I hate being the middleman.
I’m not Mike’s assistant.
But yesterday, while I was working, Gary texted, “Can Mike work this weekend?”
I said I’d pass it along, assuming he’d messaged Mike too.
Then today: “So can he work?”
I’ve ignored that message so far because I’m not even scheduled until next week.
She can’t take these messages from Gary anymore!
What really got me was when Gary messaged me while I was on vacation 2 months ago, literally at the airport, asking about Mike.
I looked back through our texts, and since Mike’s rehire, every message conversation started by Gary has been about Mike.
So yes, Mike should probably just quit, but AITA for ignoring Gary? And WIBTA if I blocked Gary’s number?
I’ve already told him directly I’m not his messenger. I don’t think quoting Hermione Granger at this point (“I’m not a bloody owl!”) would work either.
Gary isn’t her manager. I can’t see any reason why it would be a bad idea to block his number. It’s not her job to relay messages to her brother.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.
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He’s harassing her.
This person offers several suggestions.
Here’s another suggestion that would probably work.
She shouldn’t lead him to believe she’ll pass on any messages.
It’s simple, really.
If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about an employee who decided to push back against time micromanagement.
This one boils down to how quickly an occasional favor can become an unofficial job when someone keeps rewarding a manager’s bad habits.
Contacting the actual employee or discussing scheduling in person would have solved the problem, but using his sister was apparently easier than managing his own staff.
Fortunately, one clear message seemed to reset the boundary, although the manager admitting that direct communication was the proper method makes the earlier behavior even stranger.
Hermione was right all along – she is not a bloody owl.
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