Finding harmony while sharing custody of teenagers can feel like walking a tightrope.

When her kids begged to reduce their time at their dad’s to avoid a toxic church, the lines between protecting her children and respecting their father blurred, leaving her in a tough position.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

WIBTA for forcibly changing my children’s visitation time with their dad?

My son (16) asked me to change he and his sister’s visitation time with their dad from the whole weekend to only Friday to Saturday.

He said it’s because their dad takes them to church every Sunday and he and his sister (14) hate it.

This isn’t the first time they’ve complained about that church.

In their defense, it doesn’t sound like the best place to be.

It’s an evangelical one, and what I’ve heard, the church is extremely bigoted and hateful.

They’re especially hateful towards women, Muslims, and gay people.

So obviously my children are miserable there.

Their hatred of the church has reached a fever pitch.

Sometimes it gets so bad that my son calls me and cries over how much he hates it.

His sister doesn’t talk about it as much, but she tells me it’s boring and she’s rather not go.

The dad refuses to budge on the issue.

They tried telling their dad this, but he insists church is supposed to hurt and continued to take them.

I’m not here to debate the importance of church, but as a parent, I don’t want my children going to a place that makes them this upset.

But it’s starting to impact their relationship with their father.

They used to be so excited about visiting their dad, but now they dread it.

Sometimes my son tells me to tell his dad that he’s sick so he doesn’t have to go.

I’ve spoken to their dad about it and he refuses to listen.

I emphasize how much it’s impacting their mental health, but he simply doesn’t care.

But one day, the mother knew something had to change.

Also, an incident happened at the church not too long ago that seriously upset my daughter.

So much so that she hasn’t spoken to her dad in a week.

I won’t go into detail, but this was the final nail in the coffin.

She gets support from their case worker.

One day, my children’s case worker told us that we could change their visitation time to where their dad can’t take them to church anymore.

We talked about it for a while and we settled on 4 PM on Friday to 8 PM on Saturday.

She tries to run it by her ex, who obviously didn’t take it well.

I asked their father if he’d be okay with this and he immediately knew why we wanted this change.

I told them that the kids are teenagers now have lives of their own.

He wasn’t on board. At all.

He accused me of trying to brainwash our kids.

She says if he doesn’t agree, she’ll force the court’s hand.

I told him I have no problem petitioning this, forcing him to go along with it.

Our conversation ended there.

I didn’t tell him the kids were the ones who requested this because I don’t want their dad becoming upset with them.

I’d rather him lecture me than them.

The terms of their co-parenting were never ideal, and now she’s worried things could get even more fragmented.

I feel like the AH because their dad already doesn’t see them as much as a parent should.

It wasn’t up to me.

We split up when the kids were in elementary school and the visitation time was set up for us by the court.

I really don’t want to exclude him from their lives any further.

She’s stuck at a crossroads and doesn’t know what to do next.

He also told me that church has helped a ton with his depression and that he’s glad the kids were there with him.

I’d hate to take that away from him. I also don’t want to be an over controlling parent.

I feel like by doing this, I am changing a big part of my children’s lives over something I don’t agree with.

AITA?

At the end of the day, you can never please everyone.

What did Reddit think?

It seems her ex-husband is a pro at deflecting the blame.

The consistent tears are a pretty compelling reason why things need to change.

This redditor thinks the family should leave it to the law.

This commenter warns the mother to make sure all her i’s are dotted before going to the court.

Sometimes tough decisions are about protecting what matters most, even if it ruffles feathers.

Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for your kids.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.