After years of being treated like an outsider, a niece is left feeling excluded and dejected when her uncle takes over family matters.

Now she’s being asked to visit, but with no desire to see him or his family, tensions are rising.

Read on for the story.

AITA for not going to see my ”family”?

For a little bit of context, my paternal uncle and his family have made it evident that they want nothing to do with me or my life.

So much so that when I came to the country they stay in for university, my Dad had to basically beg them to even say hello.

Its fine, I (20f) want absolutely nothing to do with them either.

They are basically strangers to me and I have honestly been very indifferent towards them…until now.

A very close aunt of mine is currently in hospital, previously she was staying with me, but the aforementioned uncle is responsible for taking care of her.

I love my aunt and just want her to be okay.

Funny how strangers suddenly turn into family when there’s responsibility involved.

Here is where I think my selfishness begins though, as I am alone I have found it progressively more difficult to process my emotions surrounding this circumstance and really need support right now.

Another close aunt of mine (all on my dads side) is currently in the country to see her sister (my aunt in hospital).

I was told she would be staying with me as I have a room vacant.

However, my uncle picked her up from the airport and I was informed last minute that she would no longer be staying with me.

I cooked dinner and everything, so I’m feeling a bit dejected currently.

It just strikes me as a bit unfair that my uncle has even taken that support away from me in this time, he has a whole family to be with him right now.

I have exactly one friend and my lovely parents who are 8000 miles away.

I feel excluded and alone.

Nothing like cooking dinner for a guest who’s been hijacked by the uncle you didn’t invite.

Now my aunt is asking me to come visit at my uncles place so we can all be together.

This is a result of the fact that we can’t go to the hospital at the moment because of a covid outbreak.

I love my aunt, and want to spend time with her, but I have absolutely no desire to see my uncle or his family.

Selfish and immature?

Maybe, but I am also kind of hurt.

So AITA for not wanting to see my ”family”?

When family only steps in to take control—not to show support—it’s no surprise the niece is hesitant to engage.

Is she selfish for refusing to visit, or just protecting herself from more disappointment?

Reddit is clearly on her side.

This person says to practice good communication here.

This person says prioritizing her mental health is key.

This person says to be weary of how things are phrased.

When “family” is more about control than care, is opting out really that selfish?

Reddit doesn’t think so.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.