Divorce and child custody arrangements can make celebrating the holidays a lot more complicated.

If you had an agreement with your ex about which days your child spends with you over the holidays and which days she spends with your ex, would you be willing to be flexible, or would you be upset if he asked for more time with your child?

In this story, one woman is in this exact situation, and she’s wondering if she’s wrong not to agree to her ex’s demands.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for refusing to give my ex almost all of my November holiday and the entire month December with our daughter when the custody decree says he’s overreaching?

My ex and I split custody of our teenage daughter. The decree is clear that each parent gets either two separate 1 week vacation blocks, OR one 14 day consecutive block per year. That’s it. Not three weeks. Not 16 days. One or the other.

Thanksgiving alternates with this year being mine and Christmas is split into two segments.

Since 2025 is an odd year, here’s how it should go this year.

Dec 17–25 (Segment 1) with him in odd years.

Dec 26–Jan 5 (Segment 2) with me in odd years.

In odd years, my vacation selections override his if there’s a conflict.

He already used a week of his vacation.

But then this year

• Back in July, he already used his first vacation block (July 16–19). Even though it was only 4 days, it still counted as one of his 7-day blocks. That leaves him only one block left for the year.

• On Aug 3, I declared my vacation for my daughter’s Fall Break (Sept 26–30) and specifically mentioned that it was for Fall Break.

Sept 27 is also her out-of-town competition, which had been on the calendar and sent to him multiple times per week since May 17.

He gave me a thumbs up, no objections.

Did he really forget that quickly?

He started making plans with our daughter for Fall Break.

I reminded him that he had already okayed her being with me for Fall Break.

Only after that reminder did he suddenly declare new “vacation days.”

He seems to want a LOT more vacation days with his daughter.

he’s demanding

November 14th through the 18th…. which cuts straight into my Thanksgiving week with family November 19th though the 23rd

December 10th through the 16th, which is coupled with his holiday time of December 17th through the 26th……. 16 consecutive days.

He’s seriously trying to hog all the vacation time with his daughter.

The decree only allows 14 consecutive days max, or two 1 week blocks.

He already burned one week in July, so this is flat-out outside the rules.

And when stacked with his December 3rd through 9th usual schedule time this gives him Dec 3rd through 26th uninterrupted . 23 straight days.

He doesn’t even care what his daughter wants.

Meanwhile, my daughter has said she doesn’t want to be stuck at either parent’s house for a whole month, especially not during the holidays.

His response? Basically “she doesn’t have a choice.”

Here’s the kicker: I still have one vacation block left to take, and because it’s an odd year, my vacation overrides his if there’s any conflict. So legally demands don’t even work

It makes sense that she’s upset about this.

Without his power grab, the holidays are already perfectly balanced per our decree for odd years as he got Thanksgiving and the week before last year.

Thanksgiving with me December 17th through 25th with him. December 26th through January 5 with me.

Last year, he had Thanksgiving and the week before it. Then with the way Christmas split, I got only 5 days with our daughter for Christmas while she spent 11 with his family.

This year is supposed to restore balance, but instead he’s trying to bulldoze it again.

She has evidence.

I’ve got July texts, my August notice where I said “Fall Break,” his thumbs up, and then his unilateral “this is what we’re going to do” emails.

Mediation is October 6, and I’m not agreeing to his nonsense.

So Reddit, AITA for standing my ground and refusing to give him basically all of Nov and Dec with our daughter?

No, she’s not doing anything wrong. He’s trying to hog the holidays, and he doesn’t even care that his daughter doesn’t want to be at his house all that time.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person is on the mom’s side and offers some advice.

This is an important point!

One person thinks it’s time to call the divorce lawyer.

She really shouldn’t give in.

Everyone is on her side.

It really does matter what their daughter wants.

If she gives in, he’ll keep thinking he can get whatever he wants.

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