When you are in a relationship with someone, it is good to support them when they are going through something hard like a job loss, but what if the job loss is a chronic issue that is of their own making?

That is what the girlfriend in this story is experiencing, and now that her boyfriend quit yet another job, she gently told him he needed to do better, and now he is upset.

She isn’t trying to hurt his feelings, but she needs him to step up as a boyfriend and as a father.

AITAH for telling my bf I am frustrated that he quit his job?

For context me (24F) and my bf (25M) have 2 young children together.

Sometimes job hopping can get you good raises, other times it backfires.

My bf is somewhat of a job hopper. He’s had idk, 4 or 5 jobs this year?

And there have been stretches here and there where he’s been unemployed, for most of last year he was also unemployed.

He doesn’t live with us.

I can see where this would get old quick.

I am the primary caregiver to our kids, and I also provide everything for them. He does help when he can, but he’s also terrible with money. He never seems to have money, even when he works.

I’ve tried to be patient and understanding but I’ve just recently started feeling so resentful that I am basically a single mother doing everything and he only helps when he can.

Oh, he is getting fired again, no doubt about it.

So basically, this past Wednesday after work my bf told me his managers had a conversation with him about his no call no shows. He started about a month ago and had already missed 3 days, they told him he can’t miss any more days or he would be fired.

He had, at this time, already started feeling sick, and the next day when I was going to take him to work, he said he really didn’t know if he could because he really wasn’t feeling well.

What is he thinking!?

And ultimately, he decided not to go, assuming he would most likely be fired.

Umm, he needs to be made to feel bad, he is doing bad things.

He asked me if I was disappointed. All I said was that I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t want to make him feel bad. I bought him some cough syrup and orange juice and took him home.

Two days later he informs me that his job let him know he still had a job, but he told them he still quit.

I would be beyond frustrated.

I was frustrated and let him know.

He said it was fine because he had an interview with another place. I told him I thought it was great he found something else but why did he want to sit around for a few weeks with no job?

When this other job wasn’t even a sure thing yet? He replies he wouldn’t have been able to work anyway because he was sick.

Yeah, she has every right to complain.

He went on to say I was complaining because of this and also from the previous week when he didn’t work much.

I had asked him why he hadn’t been called in and how much longer that could be sustainable.

The nerve of this guy.

I told him to not give me attitude and that I had a right to be asking/wondering what was going on, and that I had been more than understanding when he wasn’t able to help with our kid’s expenses.

I told him he needed to do something self-reflection and I was sorry if he didn’t like what I was saying, but it was the truth. And that, I felt, on some level he was okay with doing whatever because he knew I would pay for our kids expenses even if he didn’t.

He needed this reality check.

I said maybe it’s unintentional, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t still happening. He got upset and asked if I really thought that was the truth or if it was just a criticism I wanted to give him?

I told him it is the truth because at every job he has he always no call no shows, and I know for a fact it isn’t always because he’s sick, but because he just doesn’t want to go.

He just doesn’t like working, but honestly, nobody does.

He always ends up wanting to quit or gets fired and I have to pick up the slack. It makes me frustrated because I am the one who takes on most of the parenting load by myself.

He said I am basically saying he doesn’t care about anything.

I think she isn’t being harsh enough.

To which I replied that wasn’t at all what I was saying. Just that I wanted him to try harder even when things get hard and that I am very frustrated that he quit again.

And he tells me, well you’re not saying it in the right way.

Quit babying this guy, he is a grown adult and needs to take some responsibility!

I tell him what way would be right? I thought I was being gentle and I could’ve been a lot ruder/let my emotions take over and dictate more of what I was saying. I told him I’m sorry if I was too blunt or if I was mean, it wasn’t my intention, but I was just very frustrated.

Throughout the text conversation he just keeps saying he doesn’t want to have this conversation and he’s done talking about it and eventually leaves me on read and hasn’t answered for hours.

NO! Not harsh enough.

Now I’m wondering was I too harsh? Maybe I should have waited to have the conversation with him when he wasn’t sick.

Idk, the topic came up naturally, so I just told him how I felt.

AITA?

No way. It sounds like he needed this dose of reality, and he doesn’t like it, but that’s life. He clearly has a lack of work ethic that needs to be fixed.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This is the real question.

He should definitely be put on child support.

Exactly!

Yup, this is the hard truth.

She is a single mom and needs to live like it.

What is he bringing to the relationship?

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.