Nothing tests a marriage faster than when one partner starts prioritizing their parents over their spouse.

So, what would you do if you were nine months pregnant and sweating through your clothes because your husband turned up the heat to keep his parents comfortable?

Would you stay quiet to avoid any problems? Or would you demand that he put your needs first?

In the following story, one woman finds herself dealing with this situation and is looking for advice.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for demanding that my husband pick my needs over his parents and let them feel cold for a bit.

I (35F) am currently 37 weeks pregnant and due for a planned C-section at the end of the week (due to some complications with my baby).

My husband’s (35M) parents are here to help with the newborn baby.

Since they have come through, all that has happened is that I now have to cook for four instead of 2 and clean up after everyone. But these are not the major issues.

They can’t seem to agree on a good temperature inside the house.

The issue is that they can’t stand the cold. It’s currently autumn where I am, and going into winter. I warned them before they came that it would be cold. The house is heated to 20C, but that doesn’t seem to be enough for them. And she complains about the cold at least 5 times a day.

Now I have been running hot (probably because of the pregnancy), and 20C is borderline too much for me. I’m walking around in my summer clothes. I’ve asked them (and given them) extra layers to put on so they feel warmer, which, until yesterday, she refused to put on.

Last night, they visited some relatives (and I didn’t go, as I was feeling too tired), and she took the opportunity to complain to my husband about how cold she’s been feeling. So the moment he came home at night, he turned on the heater.

Now, it seems that she and her husband are always on different pages.

I warned him that it would get too hot at night for me, but he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do and kept the heater on. He turned it off before he slept, but it was so hot for me last night that I sweated through my clothes and bedclothes.

And it isn’t just this.

When I said that we shouldn’t have outside visitors till the baby gets his vaccinations (because of his complications) and that no one should be allowed to kiss him on the face, he argued with me over it, saying that if someone was sick, they would let us know, and only that person could be excluded.

He did the same with me when I said that the midwives insisted that the baby should be sleeping in a room no warmer than 20C. He argued with me that the kids in the tropics sleep in warmer rooms.

Then, his mother brought up a tradition they should do.

And when his mom randomly dropped in the middle of a casual conversation that she was going to be carrying out an old tradition for the baby on the 28th day, he didn’t even object and just accepted it.

We had previously discussed this particular tradition, and he was totally against it then.

But when his mom brought it up, he said that if she does it, it won’t hurt anybody and it’ll make her happy, which is true, but I said that if we don’t set any boundaries in the beginning, then more and more of these “traditions“ will crop up.

Her only priority is to protect the baby, but her husband doesn’t see it that way.

What makes me mad about things like the visitors is that I’m only saying it to protect the baby, and it could actually harm the baby, and he still argues with me about it.

He says it’s just a discussion, but to me, it feels like he thinks I’m being irrational and paranoid.

I told him that I don’t feel like he’s on my team, and I’m being forced to do all the adjusting while he looks after his parents’ comfort. He says I should adjust for a while till they can adjust to being here.

AITA?

Wow! Being a new mother is tough, so it’s no wonder she’s so worried.

Let’s check out how the people over at Reddit suggest she should handle this situation.

This person suggests she stay with other family.

These are good questions.

For this reader, her husband is a problem.

According to this reader, she should stop doing all the extra work.

She has every right to be upset because her husband should be putting her needs in front of his parents in their home.

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