When you are in a relationship with someone and living with them, it makes sense to split the bills and both contribute, but it needs to be done in a fair way.

What would you do if your fiancée made you use all your money to pay for bills, including for her children, and you couldn’t even spend Christmas gift money on yourself?

That is what the young man in this story was dealing with, and he is wondering if he is out of line for wanting to spend some of his own money on himself.

AITAH For wanting to use some of my money for me?

Little back story. I 26M and my fiancée 28F have been living together since 2021.

Splitting expenses can make sense when living together.

I’ve always helped with bills and her kids from her ex marriage. Although I’ve been unemployed since October 2023 and have been to job recruiters and on job boards everyday applying.

So, its getting harder to help out with bills and other expenses. However every time I get money (my family gives me money for birthday and Christmas) it immediately goes to bills or something else and I have no say about anything.

Well, this isn’t right at all.

I haven’t been able to get myself anything since 2022 even though I buy her presents and still contribute to the house.

Every time I get money and want to spend some for me (I have to beg her to use some of my own money) it turns into an argument.

This is financial abuse.

I tried to spend $18.55 and it turned into an argument about everything I get is hers or it has to go to bills. We do budget (harder with kids) but no matter what still cant use any money as its an argument.

This week I’m getting my tax return and I want to get my phone fixed as the screen has been unusable since Oct 2023 but the argument is that we have to pay daycare and rent and bills.

That seems expensive to fix a phone, but not relevant I guess.

Well $500 out of $2900 is all id need for my phone to get fixed but again argument.

Her 2 kids 5yo and 6yo she has with her ex are loving kids don’t get me wrong, however why do they get the fun things like eating out or random gifts from the store or anything like that but I cant do anything.

This part of it doesn’t really matter. Her ex isn’t responsible for covering anything at their house beyond the court ordered child support.

Her ex pays a max of $700/ Month for his unofficial child support, he always claims that he has no more to give her but in the last 3 years they have been apart he has bought: A PS5, A vehicle, A PSVR, and always claims that he cant give her more.

Meanwhile MY vehicle was repossessed.

Wow, this is an abusive relationship for sure.

The result of my standing up to her about using some of my money is that all I am is immature and I need to grow up.

I’m trying to convince myself that she is being unreasonable and its not me but honestly it’s getting harder to convince myself of that.

AITA?

This is not a healthy relationship in any way. He needs to get out of it and start taking care of himself.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about the situation.

Yup, he needs to take his money and run.

This commenter is spot on.

I can’t say that I disagree with this commenter.

She is just using him.

This single mom wants him to leave the relationship.

This is financial abuse and he needs to get out while he can.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.