When you are in a relationship with someone, it is normal to have strict limitations on what you can and can’t do with friends of the opposite gender.

What would you do if your boyfriend got very upset with you for hugging a male friend even though he has known that you are friends with him forever?

That is what happened to the woman in this story, and she doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong, but also doesn’t want her boyfriend to be upset.

AITAH for hugging my male friend in front of my bf?

The context: I’m 19F, boyfriend is 18M and friend is 19M. My bf and I have been together for a year, and I’ve known the friend like my whole life.

Lifelong friendships can be wonderful.

I’ve had this male friend since I was a very young kid, since our parents worked together. I’m talking like 1 or 2 years old.

We got super close around middle school and have always been very comfortable around each other but not flirty and we don’t have any “history.”

This is all very important context.

Closest thing is briefly talking about dating years ago during a time we were both single, but ultimately decided we kind of feel like cousins and it would be weird. We have never even kissed.

Obviously going into dating me, my bf knew about our relationship. I’ve always been super transparent about it, and him and my friend have seemed to become friends as well. They’ve hung out without me there before.

She seems to handle this in a very mature way.

Me and my friend stopped having sleepovers when I started dating him, at my bf’s request for being uncomfortable. So its all been very “above board” nothing weird going on.

The problem; today we were all shopping/hanging out together at the mall. We planned to do something after the mall but my friend had to leave early, and when he left I gave him a hug goodbye.

Seems pretty innocent.

Like a half-body hug arm around the shoulder type thing, nothing intimate. It was for like 2 seconds when I said “see you later, bye.” and then he left. To me, it seemed like no big deal.

As soon as he was gone my boyfriend got on me about the hug and called it “totally inappropriate” and said “why don’t I go home with him instead” since I “would clearly rather date him.” He freaked out. And it seemed so sudden.

He is clearly insecure about this.

He has seen us hug goodbye before, and its never been an issue or it would have been addressed by now.

But when I pressed him on the issue later, he said me doing it in public specifically was the issue.

Weird, but at least he is expressing his concerns clearly.

It made my friend “look like my boyfriend” and said he “looked like a cuck” at the mall (yes his actual words).

I want to be sympathetic to his feelings, but I’ve clearly discussed physical boundaries with him before, and he said hugging my friend is fine.

They need to talk about this.

I didn’t go outside of what he agreed to. I don’t think its fair to suddenly blow up at me because we did so in a mall. I think I should be able to say goodbye to my friend, who I’ve known for much longer, who will always be in my life and my bf is fully aware of.

I feel like if he’s not okay with our relationship he shouldn’t have agreed to date me when I’ve been nothing but upfront.

This seems reasonable.

But he’s still upset and wants me to apologize for something I feel like I didn’t do wrong.

Not doing it again is one thing if its a boundary for him, but I have nothing to apologize for in my opinion.

AITAH?

They really need to have a serious discussion about this and get on the same page. It seems that he has been understating his concerns for some time and now they are coming out in unhealthy ways.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This is quite the assumption.

Here is a commenter assuming he is reading ‘red pill’ content.

He does seem insecure.

Yeah, but she needs to make sure they are on the same page.

This commenter is generalizing.

He seems immature and needs to grow up.

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