Friendships can get complicated when big life moments don’t happen at the same time for everyone.

So, what would you do if you held back your own pregnancy excitement to avoid hurting friends who were struggling, but now that they’re having a baby, want you to be happy for them? Would you forgive them and celebrate their moment? Or would you keep your distance because you’re still really hurt?

In the following story, one woman can’t help but feel the latter. Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTAH if I don’t attend to my friends baby shower because they said my pregnancy was an accident and that I didn’t deserve it ?

When I was pregnant with my first child two years ago, I had a really heavy feeling that I had to keep my pregnancy journey quite discreet because two of my friends (they are married) had difficulties with infertility.

When my fiancé and I were expecting, it was obvious that they were hurt and that after each encounter with us, they would cry themselves to sleep.

So whenever we were together, I wouldn’t bring up the pregnancy or even all of the great new thrills I was living. I don’t have many friends, so it hurt me inside a lot not to be able to appreciate the moment as much, but I didn’t want to hurt them just because a baby was existing inside me.

Behind her back, they were not kind.

But they talked to other friends of ours and said awful things such as: “The child was an accident” (It wasn’t, I prepared my body for everything, and it “just” happened on the first try.)

And they said, “They don’t deserve a child as much as we do” (I literally waited my entire life just to begin my own family since mine was broken, even before my birth).

I remember crying myself to sleep several times, thinking about them also, because I always daydreamed about our children growing up together (whether they adopt or use other medical options), but they were just mean.

Now, the couple is expecting.

I always tried to calm my fiancé down by telling him they were hurt and that they didn’t actually mean it, but it still hurt, and once confronted, they still didn’t apologize. That was the thing that I don’t forget.

When we introduced the baby to our friend group for the first time. (It wasn’t at home) They never acknowledged it. Not even a “Hello Baby.” They just straight up acted as if it never existed. That night I cried again. The next time they brought a gift, but they never actually said ‘Sorry.’

Anyway, now the couple is expecting (maybe twins because they had an insemination). They told us first. I hugged them, gave them a small gift I’ve prepared for this day (baby clothes and stuff ) because I consider myself their friend, and congratulated them.

She’s considering skipping their baby shower.

Now I have this sinking feeling inside because all the things I didn’t get to do wholeheartedly, because it was hurting them, they’ll celebrate it publicly and loudly (They love to show themselves.)

I know that it’s my fault for not celebrating as much as I should have, but they were really hurt, and it hurt me just as much.

So now I’m just thinking about not going to their baby shower when it comes up. Not out of a petty move, but because I’ll be extremely hurt. I’ve learned to stand a bit more on my ground, so I know that I’ll tell them my reasons one way or another, but I feel bad because I’m supposed to support them as a friend.

AITA?

Eek! It sounds like she has already made her decision.

Let’s see if the people over at Reddit think that’s what she should do.

This reader thinks she needs new friends.

Here’s someone who had many problems in the past and was still happy for others.

According to this person, she’s given too much already.

Yet another person who thinks she needs new friends.

It’s time to move on. Those people are selfish, and she can find better friends.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.