Marrying someone with kids doesn’t automatically make you the default babysitter, no matter how strong the need.

One woman had made it clear when she married a man with kids from another marriage that she had no interest in babysitting.

So when he asked her last minute to watch the kids for an entire weekend so he could attend a bachelor party, she firmly put her foot down.

Her husband’s callous reaction revealed the foundation of their relationship wasn’t quite as sturdy as she once thought.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for refusing to babysit my husbands kids so he can have some time off

My (29F) husband (34M) has three kids from a prior marriage — 11M, 7M, and 6M. They are absolutely a handful, as both of their parents have struggled to agree on parenting and rules.

When I met my husband four years ago, he stated that he isn’t looking for a mom for his kids.

The two had always agreed that his kids were his responsibility.

His kids have two parents, and he’s looking for a wife for himself.

I like kids but I’ve never wanted any of my own. I was open to the idea of him having kids.

Back when we dated, he had the kids on weekends. Things were fine with them.

She had always been very clear that she wasn’t envisioning herself as a free babysitter.

He never expected anything from me regarding the kids.

I told him I’m not interested in babysitting, and he said he’d never ask me to. He’d just hire his niece to babysit if he needed someone.

But lately, his coparenting situation has changed.

Long story short, in the last year they’ve moved from weekends to fifty-fifty. Since the kids are old enough to not need their mom as much, this was always the plan.

One parent has the kids for a whole week, and the other has the kids the next week.

Then came a significant financial strain.

Husband lost his job and got a new one that pays less. His niece also went off to college.

Husband can’t afford any of the local babysitters because they charge quite a lot. The kids are a handful, so babysitting does not come cheap.

This weekend was his friend’s bachelor party. Husband is a groomsman and was expected to attend.

So he came to her with a big request.

Last minute, he asked me to watch the kids for the entire weekend so he could attend the event. He thought it would be no big deal and that I would definitely agree.

But she didn’t agree.

I was a bit annoyed that he waited until the last minute to ask me. I told him I couldn’t because I have to go to the gym and I have brunch plans with my mother.

And honestly, I just don’t want to. Sounds like a good way to ruin an otherwise good weekend.

Also, why would I watch the kids so their dad can go get plastered with his friends? No thank you. It’s not like it was an emergency or something.

She felt this was a complete violation of their initial agreement.

Dan was very upset because he couldn’t go. I brought up the fact that before we got married he told me he would never expect me to watch the kids.

He seemed surprised because he thought I would have changed my mind. I told him I’d watch them if there was an emergency, but otherwise no.

Of course, she doesn’t hate the kids, but it doesn’t mean she should have to drop everything for them.

I didn’t have kids because I didn’t want the responsibility of them.

I like his kids. I cook for them sometimes and take them out to do things occasionally. I show up to their sports games.

But this is for me and the kids. I would say they all really like me because I don’t try to meddle and pretend to be their mom. I’m their dad’s wife that they like.

She thinks her husband needs to step up and be a father here.

I love Dan, but I think he needs to not try to shirk his responsibility as a father. He signed up for this. Having kids means you don’t always get to do the things you want to do.

AITAH?

She made her terms very clear from the start, but he chose to disregard them.

What did Reddit think?

This user suspects the timing of his request was strategic.

Her husband seems to have plenty of money for other things.

It seems clear to this user this may not be the most trustworthy guy.

There’s some serious trouble ahead for this marriage.

Her husband should have never expected her to change her mind about a non-negotiable.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.