It is sad when a parent passes away, especially when the children are still young. When one parent has a serious illness, they will often set aside money or other things for their child to ensure they are provided for when they are gone.

What would you do if your Mom left you a large sum of money, but now that you are approaching your 18th birthday, your Dad is telling you that you should share that money with your step-siblings?

That is the situation that the young man in this story is in, so he told his Dad that he would not be sharing the money with his step-siblings. His Dad and step-mom are now calling him selfish and trying to guilt him into splitting the money.

AITA for refusing to share money I will be given/have access to at 18 with my stepsister and half brother?

I (17M) will be coming into a large amount of money when I turn 18.

While sad that he lost his Mom, the money will undoubtedly be very much appreciated.

This is money that my mom, who died when I was 7, and my maternal grandparents accumulated for me since I was born. I won’t say the exact amount but it’s between $500k and $1million.

The reason it’s that much is my grandparents ran a successful business for many years and they sold it 18 months ago and all money from that sale went to me. They kept none of it.

Mom clearly planned ahead and wanted to make sure that her son was well taken care of.

My grandparents have control over all of it currently. Before my mom died she left them in charge of the account where she was saving. She was married to my dad at the time but had wanted to secure my future in case anything happened, like dad remarrying and having additional kids.

She didn’t want to run the risk that once she was gone, her money could be used for someone who wasn’t her kid. My dad knew some money had been saved for me by mom but was never aware of how much or little it was. He also had no idea my grandparents continued saving for me.

Having this much money at such a young age presents many challenges. Hopefully he will be responsible with it.

My grandparents told me about the money over a year ago. They wanted me to prepare for my future and to know I would have so many options because of the money available to me.

They also mentioned it never bringing back my mom but could alleviate the burden of becoming an adult.

It is good that Dad and step-Mom are talking to the kids about the future and money. These are very important topics.

So here’s the deal. My dad did remarry. He has a stepdaughter (16) and a son (5) with his current wife. They are not wealthy and my dad’s wife has prepared her daughter to try and work hard for scholarships and financial aid to get into college, because she wants to study to become a lawyer, I think.

My dad had similar conversations with me and had sat me down a few times since I learned of the money’s existence to figure out what our plans would be.

In theory, he should be able to trust his Dad with this information. I have a feeling that it isn’t going to go well though.

Eventually I told him it wasn’t going to be a big concern and I told him about the money.

He was like what the heck, and then he told his wife and they apparently went what the heck together and told me I could be gracious and split the money when I get it between the three of us and give the other two a chance to have a decent helping hand with college.

It must have been difficult to stand up for his own future like this, that shows great maturity.

I told them I would not be sharing it because it was created by my family, not theirs. Dad’s wife argued that it would be incredibly selfish to take such a large amount of money and blow it all on myself when I have two siblings who could also benefit in major ways from it.

My dad told me even giving some of it to them, not a full split, but some money, money I have left at the end, would be amazing and would help my family out a lot. I told him I wasn’t going to.

Jealousy can be a powerful thing. Sadly, it seems like it is getting in the way of these parents actually doing right by their son.

They are SO not happy with me. They told me that being selfish with this is not a good way to be.

My dad is also mad that he continued saving for me and dividing things equally between the three of us when I have so much I’ll have access to in a few months.

AITA?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose family says they support her art career, but they still don’t want to pay her for product.

No, while this sounds like a lot of money now, it isn’t so much that he can live the rest of his life off of it without worrying. His Mom and grandparents wanted it to be there for him to get his life started off on the right foot, not for his step-siblings. Ideally, his step-siblings would never even know about this money since it is none of their business.

Even if Dad wanted to take some of the money he saved for his son and split it between his step-kids, that would be out of line, but not quite as bad as asking him to share the money his Mom left him.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

Mom knew exactly what Dad would do, which is why she put the money aside.

I agree with this commenter. Do not tell people about the money.

It is not Mom’s responsibility to provide for kids who aren’t hers, and it is crazy that Dad wants to do that.

This commenter points out that this is exactly what Mom was protecting him against.

This commenter had a really good idea. He needs to take steps to protect his money, even from his family.

It is clear that Mom knew what type of person Dad was and she wanted to protect him from it. This young man should not share the money with his step-siblings at all. He should definitely not feel guilty about it.