Imagine working two jobs so that you can afford to save up for your children to go to college. What would you do if your fiance asked you to use some of that money to pay for his daughter to go to college? Would you do it, or would you refuse?

In this story, one woman is in this exact situation, and she refuses to take money away from her sons to pay for her soon-to-be stepdaughter’s education. But she does have another savings account, and she’s wondering if she’s being too harsh by not using that money to help her.

Let’s read all the details to decide.

AITA for not pulling money out of college and retirement funds to pay for my fiance’s daughter to go to college?

I am 36F and I have 2 sons from a previous relationship ages 17 and 16.

Their father ( M40) and I didn’t work out for several reasons but it is what it is.

I am an RN and I took on an extra job to make sure my kids would have their educations paid for by the time they got there regardless of which route they took ( college, trades, whatever). I didn’t want them to start out their adult lives in debt up to their eyeballs.

My ex also contributes monthly.

She has been successful at saving for their education.

My main paycheck pays for my bills and anything we need and my extra job is specifically for savings for my future and theirs it is split 3 ways.

I’ve done this for about 16 years or so.

Their educations are paid for at this point.

Her oldest son is all set.

My oldest is getting ready for his final year of highschool and he is planning on going into the trades so the money is ready for him to go.

It will not take all of the money so the rest will be for whatever he chooses to do with it.

Hopefully he makes smart decisions with it ( I believe he will, he is a smart kid) but the money is his. His father and I made sure he would have it.

He also already has his foot in the door in his field because of his summer jobs working as a helper.

Her stepdaughter is in a completely different situation.

A few years ago I met a man and we are currently engaged.

He has a daughter from a previous relationship as well and she is now 18 and will be starting college soon. She is going into marketing.

She does not have any sort of college savings and will have to take out loans and apply for grants on top of living expenses and everything else she will have to pay for. She has no job experience nor does she have any sort of life experience. All of which can be gained but she will have a lot of tough things to deal with.

It absolutely sucks and I feel for her.

Her fiance wants her to help out his daughter.

However my fiance wants me to take the money my son will not be using for trade school and give to his daughter so she will have something. He also wants me to take from my younger son’s account since there is still some time before he finishes highschool and is ready to use it. As well as from my personal savings for my retirement one day.

It has become a giant argument because my children’s college funds are for them. My ex and I spent years contributing to them and making sure our children would have the money when they need it.

My 16 year old will be going to college, he wants to go into robotics, it’s his thing and he’s been in the robotics clubs and summer camps for robotics and similar since he was little. That’s going to cost us a pretty penny so we made absolutely sure we had enough in there to cover it.

I will not take from their accounts it is their money.

It’s not like her fiance couldn’t afford to pay for his daughter’s education.

My fiance and his ex are both upper middle class. He owns a business and she is in business management. He has a nice house ( we do not live together at the moment and all of our assets are currently separate) and multiple vehicles, a boat, all the fancy pants stuff.

He goes golfing and is always spending money. So he really doesn’t have much money, he has assets.

He could easily sell the boat, get a cheaper car and sell his nicer ones, etc and pay for her to go to school if he chose. He just hasn’t.

He said he worked for everything he has and isn’t selling anything.

She has put the wedding plans on hold.

It annoys me because why beg for my children’s money when he refuses to contribute to his own child’s future when he could and he could have been doing so for years now instead of buying more stuff.

Anyway I have refused to take any money from the accounts and my fiance and I are very strained in the relationship right now. I have put the marriage plans on hold because I feel like he is being very greedy and it’s very off-putting for me.

However I’m not sure if I am being a jerk for straight up refusing to pay for anything from my own account.

I do have several years before I retire and I can technically contribute but I don’t want to work 2 jobs forever. I was planning to drop my second job as soon as my boys finish their educations and move out.

She should break up with him. He should pay for his daughter’s education, not her.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This person sees lots of red flags.

Here’s a vote for ending the relationship.

It’s pretty crazy.

This is a good point. Her ex contributed to the college savings too.

His request shows his true colors.

If you liked this post, check out this story about a young woman who is fed up with financing her irresponsible sister’s bad habits.