Imagine being a teenager whose parents say they want to go on vacation during the summer. Would you be excited to go on vacation, or would you rather stay home and housesit if they allowed it?

In this story, one teenage boy wants to stay home, and his parents let him. He’s very happy having the house to himself, and he doesn’t really cause any problems. The drama in this story is all caused by a crazy Karen who lives down the street. She’s so awful that she got kicked off the HOA board.

Keep reading to see how he handles the crazy Karen and still manages to enjoy his summer.

HOA rules need to be followed? Suuuure.

The setup: Our tale begins in my teen years about 10-11 years ago.

It was summer and my parents wanted to go on vacation.

Me being a 16 year old dummy with both a gaming addiction and seeing my que to living the free independent unsupervised life, much like a house cat with an open-door-for-two-weeks-opportunity, offered to house- and dogsit while they and my sister went on vacation.

He clarifies a few things.

Some important background information is probably needed here, since else some dummies here might call my parents neglectful for leaving an 16 year old unsupervised for two weeks: I’m from a way safer and secure place than the US, we lived in the suburb and I was taught most lifeskills by the time I was 12.

The only dangers I could be exposed to would be alcohol poisoning, and strains to my wrist from the insane amount of rounds I would force my poor member through during the two weeks.

You know, the typical threats for a boy in a country in which 16 year olds can buy beer.

A letter arrived from the HOA.

The boy and the Karenmegasaurus Rex: Week one: While gaming took 90% of my time away and I developed the day and night schedule of a backend developer, I still did all the chores around the house with a few exceptions since I deemed they could wait.

I check the mailbox and there is a handwritten letter with runes of the ancient.

Using my old doctors notes as a rosetta stone, I decifered, that it was from the president of our equvalent of an HOA. Imagine an HOA with a fifth of the power the typical HOA in US would have. A Hawkeye of the HOA Avengers, if it was in a sport it would only receive participation awards, you get the point.

The Moria written tomb said that the grass of my front law was too tall according to regulations.

That wasn’t the only complaint.

I went out, took a look at the grass, which was maybe 1 cm too tall (that’s the equivalent of a jellybean to my freedom measurement folks).

Same day I cut the grass, cause might as well do so to keep the peace.

The day after, a new letter written by the same Shakespeare wannabe came. I grabbed my Indiana Jones Hat and performed an heathen ritual in the shed to read the message.

The roses in my front yard were going too far out through the fence by 15 cm (that’s an average sized carrot in muricana).

I once again comply.

He found out who sent the letters.

On the third day, the true cause of annoyance said to me: my backyards bushes were too tall.

Here is where I finally get irritated, since you have to enter my parents property to check the bushes height.

With Satans three commandments in hand I go and visit my direct neighbour, who I knew were in the HOA board. I ask her about the Gutterspeak letters and she looks through them and laughs.

Those are from the banshee of Arrakis aka the megakaren who lived 10 houses further down the street. She had been kicked out of the HOA board after she poisoned 3 dogs in the neighbourhood with rat poison laced treats.

He decided to ignore the letters.

Not wanting to deal with her after she threw rocks at me when I was trick or treating as a child, I decided to let the case rest and leave my bushes be untrimmed like certain minority actresses often do.

The boy, the planted bomb and the instigation: Fast forward a week into my parents vacation. After being alone for 7 days, I finally mastered the art of playing Mozarts requiem, and decided to do something else.

As any teenager would I started to plan a party, and like the good kid I was, I went around to all my nearby neighbours and warned them about the potential noise, which parties tend to create.

At some point here, in my clarity, I remembered the saying “witches be fading, but a good counterstrike match lasts forever”.

The party started, and the police arrived.

Instead of holding a straight up party I decided to invite friends over to a lan-party, so we could play counterstrike source, and quickly replace the white blood cells in our body with whatever was in the knockoff energy drinks.

Fast forward to said lan-party: my parents dining room smells like teenage farts, axe body spray, sweat and all chips in the world mixed together. Typical lan stuff.

1 am there is a loud knock on the door. I go out, to see two cops looking at me with a surprised pikachu face. I look at them with the same amount of confusion.

Cop 1: “We have a report, that there is a loud party going on, and there might be several minors doing drugs here”.

The police could tell they weren’t being a disturbance.

Me: “Does energy drinks count as drugs?”

Cop 2: “No?”

Me “Then I have no idea what you are talking about”.

Cop 1: “we had a frantic woman calling constantly, which is why we came, but it seems we are more of a disturbance than you guys are”

The police understood.

At the same time one of my friends can be heard in the background:

“OP get in here!! The bomb has been planted and you are the only one alive”

Cop 1: “Counterstrike?”

Me: “Counterstrike..”

“We will leave you to it then”.

Cops left and we lost the match. Unrelated tho.

Karen eventually knocked on his door.

Two days after, I get another knock on my door.

There she is, the bane of all good, she who must not be mentioned without carrying Miraak’s Sword and a towel on you.

She starts screaming that me and my drug party kept her up all night, and that I’m a horrible brat, who needs to tend to my bushes if my parents doesnt want to lose the house.

He didn’t let her continue.

At this point I stop her and remind her that:

1. The HOA doesnt have the power to do that. They hardly have the power to do anything except approve of houseowners requests.

2. That she was kicked out of the HOA due to the poison incident.

3. That I didnt even have a party

4. that she needs to stay the heck away from my backyard.

She didn’t help her case by threatening the dog!

She got even madder and started screaming that she would have me and my parents arrested, and that the poisoned treats were meant for my dog as well.

I slammed the door on her faster than hyperspacing from Argos Rho. She had royally ticking me off.

No one threatens my good boy. No one.

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He got to work.

Perfect legal pettiness: So now we are at our final act. My revenge. I had about 4 days before my parents returned, so I made them count.

I called the police and visited my real HOA neighbour and got all the nessecary approvals. Then I went over and talked with the neighbours surrounding her house.

I would do all the yard work, which involved loud equipment around her house. Legally, we were allowed to make noise from 8am till 8pm with yard work, but its considered rude to do it after 5pm.

That didnt stop me tho. Like a druid on paragon level 256 I just kept sending leaves and grass flying, as if all the bushes, trees and odd plants had messed up my grandfathers ashes.

He wasn’t going to let her stop him.

She came out and screamed at me, even threw a rock at me, it brought back old memories but I didnt care. I was gonna make as much legal sound as possible.

Whenever she complained I just told her, that their plants werent up to HOA standard.

Friday rolls around. It’s 8 am. Me and my friends are gathered in front of her house. We have all the tools ready. Purchased by the bloodcoin of my insanity induced labour the two days prior.

It’s time to make her pay.

Time for that party he promised.

We turn on the speaker, the bbq and crack up a beer.

Speaker is set to the exact legal limit of how loud the music is allowed to be.

Most her neighbours come out and join during the day, since I had invited them while killbilling their plants.

There was nothing she could do about it.

She screamed constantly for an hour, called the cops twice, which left after seeing my permits from themselves and the HOA.

That’s right witch. If you want a party to complain about, then you shall get the finest party of the shire just outside of your house.

We kept it up to the exact time limit.

He sounds like a pretty responsible teenager to handle all of that on his own while his parents were away. He avoided getting in actual trouble and helped out the neighbors while also inviting them to a 100% legal party. His parents should be proud, and I hope he told them how he dealt with Karen.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a family living outside the HOA who refuse to remove their tree or lights despite their neighbors hating them.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This person comments on the length of the story.

Another person didn’t like the writing style.

But this person comments on the dog poisoning.

And another person makes it clear that he was not too young to be left home alone.

He was practically an adult. He was not too young to be left home alone, and I think he proved that he was responsible enough to be left home alone and to handle the household chores.

What baffles me the most is that Karen admits to poisoning the dogs and even threatens OP’s dog. How awful! How could she get away with that and continue to live her life like it’s no big deal? She’s a monster!

It’s fun how he invited the whole neighborhood to his party at the end. Basically, the whole neighborhood participated in the revenge.