If you work in a highly specialised profession, you might think that you’re likely to find plenty of people just like you there. Sometimes that’s true, as the harder you’ve worked to get into a field, the more likely those around you have also worked very hard on the same pursuit. But, as the woman in this story found out to her detriment, that doesn’t always mean you’re going to be fast friends.

Because making friends with people – even just work friends, who you don’t spend time with outside of your employment – requires some kind of a spark. And that might be that you’ve both just been very polite with one another at first, and eventually found common ground and things to talk about. Or you might turn up on your first day and find your perfect work soulmate sitting right there, and you click over that first shared coffee break.

However, having friends isn’t a prerequisite for a happy work life. In fact, many people work with very dissimilar people and get on just fine, on the basis that while they have no interest in spending real time together, they are polite and respectful of one another. Because a smile and a ‘hello’ in the morning can work wonders for brightening the day.

Unfortunately for this woman though, her colleagues can’t even seem to muster up enough effort for that, and it’s leaving her feeling ostracised and quite upset.

Read on to find out why.

AITA for working while at work?

I work in an environment where I mostly have the same group of co-workers, and have worked with this group for about four years now. I have always had a hard time making friends in the workplace. Today it really got in my head.

I just returned to work after a week away to celebrate accomplishing my masters degree. I said good morning, and it wasn’t acknowledged by anyone at all. Feeling awkward and unable to relate to the conversation, I slipped into another room to start gathering my work for the day.

After maybe an hour I returned to ask a question about locating a piece of equipment for the day. I got a one line answer.

No one else seems to have trouble chatting. I consciously focus on remembering interests of co-workers as an attempt to strengthen relationships. No one seems to want to carry on a conversation with me specifically.

And things just seemed to be getting worse from there.

As the day went on, the awkwardness continued. I started wracking my brain for something I did or said to offend anyone. I always go out of my way to be kind and accommodating. I know I can be intense at times when under stress, but it is a stressful job.

My one suspicion about my ability to connect with co-workers is my age in relation to my level of achievement. At 27, I am younger than most co-workers. I have worked hard to get to the level I am at in my career.

I have a boyfriend and we live in an apartment. My co-workers average eight to ten years older than me, they are all married, and most have kids.

They all have the same kind of stories of their college years, i.e. clubs and concerts. I spent my college years around campfires and at small house parties.

This is all really getting to her now.

I know co-workers aren’t necessarily meant to be friends, but I don’t have many friends after I left my hometown. I’m having a rough time in a more suburban area with co-workers older than me in different life stages. I feel I would enjoy my job much more if I was treated with respect from my co-workers.

I am in line to step into a higher up position, but I am nervous because one of the expectations is to act as an approachable mediator between the same staff and my new boss.

Long story short, I struggle to find connections with co-workers. I’m awkward as hell. My co-workers feel I need to chill out more. But I feel like we are at work to do a job. I would be happier if people didn’t hate me for feeling that way, but maybe I deserve being treated this way?

AITA?

It’s really sad that her co-workers refuse to embrace her as she is.

Sure, some people are a little socially awkward. But that doesn’t make them bad people.

And if they actually tried to get to know her, they might actually find some common ground.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an IT department who keeps receiving tickets for a company that was previously spun off.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person gave her some compassionate words of encouragement.

While others thought that perhaps she was giving off a vibe.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged her to ensure that her own perceptions weren’t clouding things.

Regardless of how much you like or don’t like a coworker, there’s no reason not to be civil – as long as they’ve not done anything horrendous to you, that is. Presuming she’s always been polite, maybe just a little introverted, it’s not just rude for her coworkers to be ignoring her, it’s also pretty mean. Perhaps she doesn’t fit into their clique and doesn’t have much in common with them – besides their job of course – but that doesn’t mean that she should be shunned, that no one should say ‘good morning’ back to her.

She’s right, you don’t go into work to socialise, you go into work to work. However, maybe this attitude has given her a reputation for being too serious or has prevented her from building some interpersonal relationships. If that’s the case, it would be easily remedied – if her co-workers would even talk to her. Instead they’re pushing her out and even causing her to reconsider professional progression opportunities, and that’s not okay at all.

It costs nothing to be kind.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee whose dietary restrictions caused the whole office to turn against her.