Growing up with a big family in a small home comes with a lot of challenges, and it is even worse when your parents expect a lot out of you while also neglecting you.

What would you do if shortly after your 18th birthday, social services learned of your living conditions and offered you the opportunity to move into your own apartment away from your family?

That is what happened to the young man in this story, so he jumped at the opportunity. He did have to tell a small lie to his family, however, so he wonders if he was out of line.

Personally, I think that he did what he needed to do in order to get his adult life started off right. Read through the full story below and see what you think about his situation.

AITA for telling social services about my living situation and accepting their offer to move out?

I am turning 18 this Monday, and I am posting this because I feel really conflicted about a major life decision I have to make in a week.

Not being close to family can make things difficult.

I migrated to this country last November. My relationship with my parents has always been kind of rocky.

My dad is always working abroad, and because there is a big age gap between me and my younger siblings, I have always had to handle a lot of the household responsibilities.

What are they making him pay for? He is a kid, and his parents should be supporting him.

From ages 13 to 16, I actually kept a strict 20-page log of my living expenses in google sheets because the allowance my parents gave me barely covered my basic needs.

I missed out on a lot of normal childhood stuff, but I kept my feelings to myself because I love my siblings.

Giving family second (and third) chances is usually a good idea.

Since moving here, the stress at home has been high and we argue almost every day. To keep my peace, I usually stay at school for a few hours after classes end.

A family friend advised me to give my parents another chance to connect, so I asked if they could help me replace my broken phone for my 18th birthday. It crashes constantly and cannot even take calls.

Well, I guess they don’t want to contribute.

When I asked, they just laughed it off and said they had too many other things to do right now.

To help build my independence, I went to a local youth organization to look for a job. During the intake, they asked about my age and my living situation.

Hopefully, these people can help him get into a better living situation.

I just answered honestly: we are a big family sharing a one-bedroom apartment, and because of the tight space, I sleep in the walk-in closet it is just enough room to sit and lay down.

The staff was really surprised by this. They checked their system and immediately involved a social worker, who took me to the financial assistance office.

Wow, his parents sound awful. Even if they are fine with him moving out, they should be more supportive.

They told me that because of my situation, everything would be covered, and they officially offered me the option to move into my own apartment.

When I told my parents about the offer that night, they were really cold. They just said, “It is your life,” “Don’t come back hungry and begging for money,” and “Make sure we are not paying anything.”

I think it was smart of him to leave out certain details.

The next morning, my grandparents called me from back home, questioning why I was moving out so fast. They said my dad found an available unit right downstairs in our current building.

I told them a small lie that I did not have a choice in the location and that social services was picking the apartment. I felt like I had to say that, because if I live right downstairs, I will automatically be expected to keep acting as the main household helper instead of actually starting my own life.

His family will figure things out.

My main goal in accepting this offer is to finally have a safe, quiet environment to rest, focus on my future, and let my parents fully manage the household themselves.

But I feel a lot of guilt because my family relies on my help, and they are making me feel like I am doing something wrong.

AITA?

It is time for him to start his own life as an adult, and that would not really be possible if he stayed at home or even lived in the same building. I think this is a great opportunity for him.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose celebratory post-grad school vacation is being ruined by his family’s insistence he’s being lazy.

Check out what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

I agree with this commenter.

There is no reason not to take this opportunity.

He can start his life off on the right foot.

Parentification is exactly what is happening.

This commenter says not to tell them where his new place is located.

He has a great opportunity to start his life off on his own, and he should take it. His family will never treat him fairly while he is living there, or even in the same apartment building.

Of course, he doesn’t have to cut all ties or hate his family. If all goes well, this could even help them to grow closer together and have a better relationship going forward.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.