Friendship can start to feel lonely when the people you invest in are more invested in finding someone else. It’s hard not to feel like a placeholder when dating gets all of your bestie’s attention, and the friendship gets whatever is left.

What would you do if your best friend skipped your milestone birthday to hang out with a random guy? One woman recently aired her grievances out about her situation like this with Reddit. Here’s what she said.

AITAH If I skip my best friends birthday?

I (F40) and my friend we will call her Sarah (F40) have been friends for 18 years.

We have had many many bumps in our friendship.

As tends to happen over almost two decades.

This most recent span of friendship is the only one I’m worried about.

So back up to last year my birthday was in September and I was turning the big 40 and was not very happy about it.

I had told her and my family I wanted to go out of town / state way in advance.

It’s good to give events like this plenty of planning time.

Family included my daughter and one other person.

Sarah had agreed to go and was excited.

She said she would start saving for her room.

Sounds like the beginnings of a great birthday.

Month go by and we are still making plans and getting excited.

Well two weeks before the trip she backs out with the excuse of money.

Understandable and I wasn’t mad.

Still, pretty disappointing.

A bit upset that my best friend wouldn’t be there but ultimately I understood.

Well her money issues also made it where she said she couldn’t get me a gift.

Again, totally understandable, we’ve all been there.

Gifts don’t always have to cost money.

Until the day before my birthday she told me she was taking a guy out for his birthday.

The same guy that’s been rejecting her and friend zoning her for years.

She just thinks if she buys him things or takes him out that he will give in.

That’s cringey to say the least.

That where it kinda rubbed me wrong.

Not because I didn’t get a gift, more so the principle that she said she couldn’t afford to do anything with her best friend, but this guy comes around and it’s the biggest deal ever.

Any sensible person would feel the same.

Second this past weekend was Mother’s Day.

I have one kid and for the first time in the 20 years she’s been alive we weren’t going to get to see each other.

Her job had her out of state.

That makes for a lackluster day to be sure.

Sarah’s family throws a lot of family gatherings.

I get invited to all of the since 18 years we have basically became a big family.

Sarah knew how sad I was not getting to see my daughter, but didn’t invite me to the Mother’s Day thing / broke off plans we had for the day before Mother’s Day as well.

Foresight doesn’t seem to be Sarah’s forte.

I kinda understood because they said it was a small family thing and I assumed it would’ve the immediate family.

The actual reason?

She invited a guy she had never met to the gathering.

How is that not totally awkward for everyone involved?

Her first time meeting him was bringing him around everyone in her family.

Lastly we have had plans for two weeks for this weekend.

Why does she even bother making plans with her at this point?

She canceled them because the guy she met last week is a carpenter and is doing free labor at her son’s house to hang out with her.

Her birthday is next weekend and honestly I don’t want to go.

I don’t want to buy her anything.

And why should she?

I don’t want to do anything for her.

I can’t afford to buy some elaborate gift that I know she’s expecting.

If she expects that, she’s even more delusional than what’s been described so far.

Plus all the things she’s kinda missed / chose a guy over me for Mae’s me question why I even would.

So would I be TA if I made up some excuse and didn’t go?

Seems like it’s only logical to match the energy that she’s being given. Let’s see if the Reddit community agrees.

The comments all seemed to reach the same logical conclusion.

A few offered some tough love.

As well as some armchair psychology.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a teenager whose family thinks she’s selfish for wanting to help plan her own sweet 16.

One person brought up a valid question.

And some tried to find the nuance in the situation.

It’s not her birthday, but she’ll fight if she wants to…