When you’re turning eighteen, you might feel like a fully-fledged adult. After all, most of the people you know are younger than you, and you’re making some big decisions about what to do with your life. It’s the end of your childhood, maybe even the end of your education, and for many people it’s an exciting chapter, and the start of something new.

But deciding what to do with your life at that point can feel like a massive decision. All of a sudden all your friends are following different paths, and folk that you’ve spent most of your life with can be heading off to different parts of the country – or even different countries entirely. Perhaps you’re firm on what career path you want to follow in life, but many people aren’t, and making a choice that will lead towards something bigger can feel huge – though later in life you’ll realise that there’s plenty of time to change direction and make new choices altogether.

The young woman in this story is on the cusp of adulthood. She’s just graduated high school and is trying to figure out what path to follow for the next stage in her life. Unfortunately for her though, the people around her are proving to be more of a hindrance than a help.

Read on to find out why.

AITA for choosing to work instead of going to college?

I am eighteen and female, and I graduated this Sunday from high school.

I chose a long time ago to work instead of college, as college can be something that I can work towards.

It all started at the beginning of my senior year in August. I wanted to go into the military – initially the Navy branch, as some of my dad’s side of the family was hoping to continue the tradition.

I got a 34 on the ASVAB in the Navy recruiter’s office, with my boyfriend (20, male) talking to the recruiter as I was in the next room over doing my test.

Let’s see how her parents responded to her test.

My boyfriend took me home and I spoke to my parents about it, and I was highly disappointed in their answers about my own decision. I didn’t sign yet, but was deeply thinking about it.

My mother said I wouldn’t survive bootcamp, and my father said they would place me wherever they needed me, him not knowing that I can advocate for myself.

I also looked at colleges and was going apply to one that I really liked, but my parents didn’t want me to go to school because it’s two hours away from home – even knowing that I could live with my nana since it is an hour’s drive from her house.

I just decided to give up on furthering my education, as tension rose between my father and boyfriend.

Yikes. Read on to find out what’s going on between her dad and her boyfriend.

A few months later, I told my father that I wanted to work and do online college. That didn’t set very well with him at all.

He blew up on me saying that my boyfriend is trying to convince me to do it, but my boyfriend didn’t do anything, I chose for myself. My boyfriend was in the room and he was proud that I said what I needed to, and chose my own direction in life.

I intend to move forward being the responsible adult that I am. Going to work then setting money aside for online college is a reachable goal and I am doing it on my terms.

AITA?

It’s clear that her parents think they have a lot more control over this situation than they should.

Of course if they think her boyfriend is controlling her, they’re right to be concerned, but the truth is, this is her decision.

Whatever she chooses, it needs to come from her own heart.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a stepmom who says stepson isn’t doing enough, despite the fact that he’s working 12-hour shifts to pay for his own college.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person agreed that her choice was hers alone to make.

While others were impressed at the time and thought she put into making the right decision for herself.

Meanwhile, this Redditor who’d followed a similar path wished her luck.

It’s a shame that her parents aren’t the kind to support their kid no matter which path they want to follow. Join the Navy? No, you won’t make it. Go to college? No, it’s too far away. Go to college online while working? No, that’s not right either. It’s no wonder this situation is so frustrating for this poor young woman, since her parents are making it way more difficult than it needs to be. It really seems like nothing is good enough for them. They’re either controlling her, or they’re just super negative people.

Clearly she has put a whole lot of time and thought into her options, and hasn’t jumped into anything prematurely – otherwise she’d be away in the Navy already. Instead, she’s kept her options open while she’s taken the time to think things through – so it’s really important now that her decisions are respected. Because the truth is, she’s only eighteen. There’s plenty of time for false starts and changes of mind – and even mistakes, which her parents seem convinced that she’s making. She’s young and she has time to figure out what she wants for her life. But that is key: she needs to figure it out for herself.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose celebratory post-grad school vacation is being ruined by his family’s insistence he’s being lazy.