He Moved Away With His Girlfriend to Build Their Own Life — Her Family Has Turned Their Tiny Apartment Into a Second Home
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Living together means learning how to share a home, but that only works when both people have a say.
This man thought moving away with his girlfriend would give them a chance to build a life of their own.
Instead, her family has slowly become a constant presence in their tiny studio apartment.
Now relatives regularly stay with them and he feels like he’s losing the privacy every couple needs.
He doesn’t want to keep her away from her family. He just wants some boundaries and a voice in what happens inside their own home.
Keep reading to see what you think about their situation.
AITA for wanting my girlfriend’s family to stop staying with us so much?
I (24M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for 2.5 years, and we’ve lived together for about two years.
We moved away from our hometowns together for work, and for me, it was a chance for us to build our own life and see how our relationship worked while living independently.
The issue is that she’s extremely close to her family. She has five siblings, while my family is much smaller. She talks to them every day and often helps them financially.
It seems like a member of her family is always staying with them.
Over the last year, different members of her family have come to live or work near us.
First her sister, then her dad and older brother. Later, her brother’s wife and kids came for a few weeks. The kids would often stay over, sometimes without anyone even asking me first.
I don’t dislike her family, but I feel like our home is treated as an extension of theirs.
Whenever I try to bring up wanting more notice or wanting us to make decisions together, my girlfriend either says, “Okay,” and shuts down, or gets upset and won’t discuss it.
He just misses privacy.
The current issue is her 9-year-old brother. He came to stay with us for what was supposed to be 10 days. Now it’s turned into almost a month because his stay keeps getting extended, and their mom is also coming to visit.
We live in a studio apartment, so there is basically no privacy.
He’s a normal kid, but he constantly uses my PS5, leaves messes behind, is very picky with food, and sometimes doesn’t flush the toilet.
More than anything, I miss having our own space.
Now, he’s trying to set a boundary.
Today I told my girlfriend that when their mom goes home, her brother should go home too. I told her I miss our privacy, freedom, and alone time as a couple.
She immediately looked annoyed, said, “Okay,” and then barely spoke to me afterward.
I don’t want her to stop seeing her family. I just want boundaries and a say in who stays in our home and for how long.
AITA?
Yikes! Having so little privacy would definitely get old.
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Let’s check out how the people over at Reddit think he should proceed.
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This person thinks he should take notes.
Yet another person who thinks he learned an important lesson here.
According to this comment, the kid staying there is not sustainable.
It really does sound like that.
He may need to take a step back and really think about what he wants.
It doesn’t sound like this is going to change, especially if she’s already brushing off his concerns instead of talking them through. Her family will probably always be a huge part of her life, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
At the same time, there’s nothing wrong with wanting some privacy and a say over who stays in your own home.
If they can’t agree on something this important, he may have to decide whether he can learn to live with it or whether they’re simply not compatible in the long run.
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