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It can be very hurtful and frustrating when a loved one is clearly upset with you, but they won’t tell you what is wrong.

What would you do if your daughter came over for Father’s Day, but she was acting cold the whole time and didn’t get you anything?

That is what happened to the Dad in this story, and when he asked what was bothering her, she wouldn’t say. Finally, he got frustrated and pointed out that she did a lot more for Mother’s Day, so clearly something is wrong. This made his daughter even more upset.

He likely shouldn’t have said that, and it obviously didn’t have the desired outcome. This is a difficult situation, though. Read through the full story below and see how you think he should have handled it.

AITA for mentioning to my daughter that she did more for Mother’s Day?

My wife and I (53m) have one kid, a daughter (25f) who lives an hour away and drove over to “celebrate” Father’s Day.

We got brunch and walked around a park and spent time together.

We’ve always had a close relationship but it’s been rocky the last year. We’ve had arguments recently about her career.

I’m a lawyer and she enrolled in law school but dropped out in year 3. That’s been the source of many arguments.

At least she was spending time with him.

The whole day today it felt like she was mad at me. I perceived her being cold towards me, with curt answers, not much engagement or warmth, polite smiles.

Everything very distant.

She didn’t get me any gifts or even a card. She did say “Happy Father’s Day” but that was about it.

I can see why this would be hurtful.

In contrast for Mother’s Day last month, she came for the whole weekend, she took my wife to a massage spa and a nice lunch and dinner, she brought over my wife’s favorite baked pie, she got her various small gifts and a nice card.

I don’t care about gifts but I do care that she was cold with me on Father’s Day.

It felt awful.

This type of thing is hard to ignore.

I asked her what was wrong, what I did, if we could please talk.

She denied anything was wrong and told me I’m trying to make a big deal out of nothing.

My wife asked me to let it go but denial from my daughter when something was obviously wrong was frustrating.

Maybe he shouldn’t have said this.

It ended with me bringing up that she did a lot more for Mother’s day in comparison to today (to make the point that obviously she was upset with me).

It set her off. She called me ‘entitled’ and got up and drove home.

My wife got upset by how I handled this. She says I’m the AH in this situation.

AITA?

It is hard to ignore when someone is clearly upset with you but they won’t talk to you about it. That being said, the way he handled it clearly didn’t help.

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Let’s take a look at what the people in the comments on Reddit had to say to see if they have any good advice.

I’m sure he did appreciate spending time with her.

Dropping out that far along is a bad choice.

This person assumes they know a lot about the Dad from one little story.

Yes, and he reacted with his feelings.

He should have just let it go, but that isn’t always easy. I think the daughter also should have told him what is bothering her, but that also isn’t always easy.

At the end of the day, this is an unfortunate situation that everyone handled poorly. Hopefully they can all forgive and move on.

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Author

Michael Levanduski