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Escaping a toxic relationship is difficult enough without feeling like the people closest to you aren’t really listening. Sometimes, all you want is to share a small moment of happiness, not receive a lecture or a list of unsolicited advice.

That’s what this 34-year-old woman says happened when she called her father to tell him she was excited to return to a hobby she’d abandoned during her long-term relationship. Instead of celebrating with her, she says he immediately began criticizing the hobby and the people she enjoys spending time with.

When she explained that her ex still hadn’t moved out despite his eviction deadline passing, the conversation shifted again. Rather than simply supporting her, OP says her father insisted she throw her ex’s belongings outside—even after she explained that doing so would be illegal where she lives and could jeopardize both her case and her career.

Eventually, the conversation reached a breaking point.

AITA: I 34F snapped on my dad 70M

AITA: I 34F am in the process of leaving a toxic long term relationship. I am quite close with my dad 70M and he is aware of the situation but not all of the details as I truly don’t think he could handle it.

We talk daily and this morning I shared how excited I was about engaging in one of my favorite hobbies next month. This is something I used to do regularly and it brought me a lot of joy, sense of community, and fulfillment.

My dad knows this and he knows I cut back on this hobby but thinks it was of my own volition. I mentioned this is the first time I get to participate this year and he said he’s so proud of me.

Hope it ended there…

I said I’d really missed doing this and missed the happiness it gave me and shared one of the major reasons I stopped was because of my ex. I tried to focus on how happy I felt when this was my main hobby and my dad kept pointing out negatives about it. He went on and on about his opinions and “concerns” – really more judgements in my opinion (snuck in comments about how some of my friends in this community are weird).

I tried to set a boundary and say I have spent years living my life for someone else and respectfully I am only concerned about my own happiness and not anyone’s opinion on how I should spend my time.

I then explained that my ex is refusing to leave my house despite his eviction date passing (claiming his new place isn’t ready yet but can’t provide a timeline) and I am overwhelmed and just wanted to focus on something happy by bringing up my excitement.

Uh oh…

Obviously this shifted the focus of the convo and my dad started giving me unsolicited advice on what to do – throw his stuff in the yard, call the police, tell him to get out (as though I hadn’t??) etc. I explained in our state none of that is legal and there is a due process for eviction (notice > court date > then police).

I am not willing to go outside of the legal process as my ex is petty and I don’t want to risk my job/career if he were to escalate things. My dad thinks this is “going off the deep end” and that nothing would happen because I’m “not the first woman that’s thrown out an ex boyfriend.”

I pointed out this is the reality and legal process. He got increasingly upset and said he needs to get off the phone to process this, knew this would happen, and he is extremely upset by this news.

Sigh.

I may be the asshole here because I snapped and told him he’s making this about him. He said he needed to get off the phone to process and I said “this is why I didnt want to tell you, because you always need to process about things happening in my life” and hung up on him.

Everything I shared was turned into an opportunity to give his opinion or advice and now he needs to process his feelings about things happening in my life instead of being supportive and just listening. He says he wants me to tell him things but this makes me want to avoid sharing as much in the future.

Truly wish I’d just kept my mouth shut about both my excitement and my current situation.

Reddit largely sided with NTA, though many acknowledged that both OP and her father were reacting from places of intense emotion. Commenters felt it was understandable that her father was frightened and wanted to fix the situation, but they also agreed that his constant advice and inability to simply listen left OP feeling unsupported during an already overwhelming time.

Many readers pointed out that OP wasn’t asking for solutions, she was looking for empathy. They felt her father’s repeated criticisms of her hobby, dismissal of the legal realities surrounding the eviction, and comments about needing to “process” her crisis unintentionally shifted the emotional burden back onto her. Several noted that this can be especially exhausting for someone already navigating the stress of leaving a toxic relationship.

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At the same time, commenters encouraged OP to remember that her father likely spoke from fear rather than selfishness. While they agreed she wasn’t wrong for feeling frustrated or setting boundaries, some suggested explaining to him in the future whether she wants advice or simply someone to listen before diving into difficult conversations.

The general consensus was that OP’s frustration was understandable, but the bigger priority now is protecting her own peace while safely getting through the eviction process.

This person says Dad is having a hard time, but still NTA.

This person agrees.

And this person says it’s truly on him.

Sometimes the hardest part of opening up isn’t telling someone what you’re going through, it’s realizing they still aren’t hearing what you actually need.

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Author

Diana Whelan

Diana Whelan | Contributing Writer, Life & Drama

Diana Whelan is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter specializing in family dynamics, viral internet culture, and interpersonal relationships. Drawing on her extensive professional background as a senior copywriter in the digital marketing space, Diana excels at transforming community-driven conversations and trending social media debates into relatable, highly engaging narratives.

Rather than simply aggregating online drama, Diana brings a balanced, humorous, and empathetic editorial voice to everyday dilemmas and parenting moments. She has a keen eye for finding the human element at the center of complex relationship conflicts and viral social trends.

Outside of writing, Diana is usually spending time with her husband and two kids, planning elaborate themed parties, or chasing down new family adventures. Fueled by a little too much caffeine and a love for a well-placed pun, she can often be found unwinding with a glass of wine and her very patient golden retriever.

Connect with Diana on LinkedIn and Instagram.