Helping a friend out by babysitting their child is a very generous thing to do, but sometimes it can get taken advantage of.

What would you do if your friend asked you to babysit so she could get her nails done, but after you agreed, you found out that her partner (the baby’s father) wasn’t working, but was instead just going out for fun?

That is what happened to the young woman in this story, so she told her friend that she was happy to do her a favor, but if the dad was available, he should be the one to watch the kid. Now her friend is upset with her, and she wonders if she was out of line.

I agree with this person. If she isn’t friends with the dad, she doesn’t need to be doing him any favors. Read through all the details below and see what you think.

AITAH For Telling My BSF that I’m not Babysitting her Kids just Because Her Man wants to Watch a World Cup Game at a Bar?

So, I have a friend who I absolutely love. We are in our late 20s & both Female.

Helping friends with child care is very generous.

Every so often, my best friend asks me to babysit her kids (either I offer or I want to pitch in because she’s done so much for me).

During this World Cup season, my friend had texted/called me about possibly needing childcare (after work hours) and we had created a contingent plan.

She is happy to help, but it seems there is some hesitation.

The reason being, my best friend wanted to get her nails done and her partner might be working at the time. I am all for babysitting for my overstimulated best friend and don’t mind moving my schedule around for her to have some time to herself.

However, I have always been a bit bothered about the way babysitting works with her, but I love her so much that I put up with it.

I can see how this would be inconvenient.

FIRST of all, I always have to wait last minute to find out if her partner is working or not (if he’s not, he typically makes personal plans cus he knows I’m coming)

OR

SECOND,

I get told they’ll be home by a certain time but she/they always make excuses about why they’re gonna be late or text that they’re gonna go to another place and come home later than stated.

Her friend needs to be more considerate of her time.

It has always annoyed me, but I was very light about my complaints.

It’s not that I don’t say anything. It’s that my best friend is very big on family or having each other’s backs or just very sensitive about people she considers close to her.

Today, I finally put my foot down.

Ok, everything is going forward as planned.

My bsf was having car troubles in the morning. So, I checked up on her around noon. Since she had that car issue, I was thinking maybe there was a hinder on the plans for the day.

After check-in with her, she said she was still attending the nail appt and that she needed to leave home by 5:30pm. I didn’t see much of an issue with that since I had a slow office day.

She has her plans in place.

So, I made plans to pick up my dog at home, drive to her place (~20min), and babysit the kids while watching the Mexico vs South Korea game.

I know how their game works though or how they be doing the tango sometimes (whether intentional or not)… so, I texted my friend when her man was leaving for work or he had left already.

If he isn’t working, he should watch his kid.

I knew traffic was getting bad in the Bay Area, so I was counting my minutes. She didn’t reply, so I called.

I asked what I needed to ask and she answered that her man’s job for the day got cancelled (He works road construction) and that he was planning to go to the bar nearby to the watch the Mexico game (He’s Mexican).

Her friend has some nerve getting upset about this.

I got upset and told her that I wasn’t trying to be rude but that I wasn’t going to Babysit when I didn’t need to. That I wasn’t a replacement dad or that I also wanted to see the game. That I had agreed to babysitting because he could be working and she’s an overstimulated mom who needs a few hours to herself.

My friend got short with me.

Obviously upset.

Why is her friend mad about this?

Apparently, she sent me a text not to come, but I didn’t see it so I called her to ask if her man had made plans to meet with anyone or if he could just stay home.

She was short saying that I didn’t need to come and that he was going to stay home. I was trying to compromise that if he made plans then he could go because they’re also misusing those people’s times, but she already sounded hurt and didn’t want to listen.

Maybe the way she said it was harsh, but it needed to be said.

The night ended up with her making me feel bad because I told her “he can watch the game at home. I have two jobs. If he’s not working, I don’t see the need for me to drive back and forth”.

Previous, I had told her “I am not babysitting so he can go to a bar. I am here for you. Not for him. No offense but I am not a replacement dad.”

She has nothing to feel bad about.

Now I feel I like a jerk for letting my friend down.

(I don’t care about her man. Take care of your kids. Watch the game at home. Include them in your heritage)

I just feel like a jerk because I know how sensitive my BSF is about this kind of “Family” / “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child” type stuff.

AITA?

No way, she is exactly right. The dad should be watching the kids if he is available. She isn’t friends with him or doing him favors, and her friend needs to understand that.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

Sadly, this seems to be the case.

I think this commenter is exactly right.

The dad should be the one to watch the child in situations like this.

Charging for babysitting might be a good idea in this case.

There are a lot of issues that come from babysitting for this couple.

She was offering to babysit for her friend, not for her husband. It is unfortunate that she got upset with a friend who was just trying to do her a favor, but that is the way some people are.

I think she needs to set some boundaries when it comes to babysitting, but don’t end the friendship altogether. Just because her friend is weird about this one thing doesn’t mean she is a bad person.