Co-parenting usually works best when both parents take responsibility for the decisions they make.

This father recently found himself in a difficult position after his ex-girlfriend accepted a new job nearly 100 miles from home.

For years, the two of them had worked out a schedule that allowed them to share custody of their daughter equally, and his employer had even adjusted his hours to help make it work.

Then the ex’s childcare plan fell apart after her dad realized he couldn’t keep driving their daughter to and from school every week.

So she turned to her ex and asked him to change his work schedule so she could keep commuting to her new job.

When he said that wasn’t possible, she accused him of trying to hold her back.

Here’s what happened next.

My ex girlfriend has taken a new job 100 miles from home and is planning on commuting…AITAH for not changing my work arrangements to suit her

So basically, my ex-girlfriend and I separated seven years ago. We have a daughter together, and I have two daughters from a previous relationship.

We have both moved on with our lives (I’m due to marry in 18 months, and she got engaged last Christmas), and we have shared custody of our daughter 50:50.

On the days I have my daughter, I have to collect her from and take her to school, and she would organize the other days, which means I have to leave work early on some days and arrive late on others.

Now, his ex has a new job.

Thankfully, my employer has been very understanding and has accommodated my situation as long as the hours are made up, which would involve me being available on weekends for emergencies. Not an ideal situation, but it works.

Anyways, the ex has taken up a job 100 miles away, and her plan is to commute daily. I have my opinions on that, but not my monkey, not my circus.

She had arranged for her dad to collect our daughter on her days, which seemed like a noble idea and a great solution.

Unfortunately, his ex has no one else to help.

Reality has set in, though, and he finds his days are restricted by either collecting our daughter or taking her to school. The novelty has passed, and he has pretty much told her that he won’t be as available as he promised.

Now this leaves her pretty much up **** creek, as she has no one else to call upon to collect and take our daughter to school. She has asked me to work from home three to four days per week, which would allow her to continue her role 100 miles away and ensure our daughter is collected on time each day.

This isn’t an option for me, and in telling her that I can’t accept these changes, she’s accusing me of clinging to the past, being bitter about the breakup, and doing my best to sabotage and stifle her career.
AITA?

Yikes! This whole thing sounds very stressful.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a stepmom who says stepson isn’t doing enough, despite the fact that he’s working 12-hour shifts to pay for his own college.

Let’s check out how the folks over at Reddit think this situation should be handled.

This woman and her husband each drive 100 miles per day.

According to this comment, it’s all her fault.

This reader thinks the ex made a bad choice.

Here’s someone who thinks that’s her problem.

It’s hard to blame the father for this one.

He already adjusted his work schedule to make the shared custody arrangement work. Plus, it sounds like he’s continued to do his part over the years.

The ex is the who chose to take a job nearly 100 miles away. At that point, she also accepted the responsibility of figuring out how that decision would affect her parenting schedule.

Unfortunately, her original plan didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean the father has to rearrange his job to fix the problem. Hopefully she finds another solution because expecting him to absorb the consequences of her decision simply isn’t fair.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose celebratory post-grad school vacation is being ruined by his family’s insistence he’s being lazy.