He Became a First-Gen Law Student and Landed a High-Paying Job—Then His Family Suddenly Wanted Control of His Money
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Watching someone’s interest in your life shift right alongside your bank account is the kind of thing that’s hard to unsee once you notice it.
One first generation law student, who’d been self-sufficient since his early teens, recently secured a strong job offer for after graduation, news he shared with excitement.
His family’s response wasn’t pride so much as persistent questions about his savings and unprompted offers of financial help, a dramatic shift from their complete silence after a car accident left him without transportation earlier that year.
When he drew a boundary around money conversations, his mother’s tears and the family’s accusations followed almost immediately.
You’ll want to read on for this one.
AITA for telling my family I don’t want to discuss my finances with them any more
I am first generation college student and first generation law student. My family is not well off to say the least.
This student has been forced to fend for himself in every conceivable way.
Growing up, our home was put into foreclosure, I’ve been homeless, etc. I have been financially supporting myself since I was 14 and put myself through high school, college, and law school.
I’m currently going into my last year of law school. I recently accepted a lucrative return offer for post grad employment and of course shared the news with my family.
That’s when things started getting weird.
However, since then, my family has relentlessly been asking about how much I was able to save up over the summer and offering to help with anything I need during my last year of law school, especially if I needed anything financial.
This is a sharp turn of course from before I accepted this offer.
They hadn’t been this supportive when he was broke.
For example, my car was totaled when a distracted driver hit me shortly after I started school. My family told me they were grateful that I was okay and then radio silence about helping me try to get another car.
Then matters got even worse.
The other day when talking to my mom, she asked again about my finances. I said I don’t feel comfortable anymore discussing finances with them.
She started crying and saying that she felt like a bad mom. Now the family is telling me I’m insensitive and they’re just trying to support me. I am NOT considering cutting off or reducing contact. Just eliminating this topic of discussion.
AITA? Am I overreacting? Something just feels off but maybe it’s in my head?
Things are definitely weird between them.
What did Reddit have to say?
Maybe more discretion is the way to go when it comes to his finances.
Finances = off limits.
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His family is only looking out for themselves.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a girl who thinks her family is doing too much in criticizing the tidiness in her small space.
This commenter thinks they’ve cracked the code.
What this family is calling insensitivity is really just a fed-up person refusing to ignore an obvious pattern.
This man built his entire education and independence without meaningful financial help from his family. And now that his hard work finally pays off, his family wants in? Not going to happen.
At the end of the day, his boundary around finances is understandable, especially when you consider his family’s spotty track record of support.
When something like this feels off, it’s best to listen to your gut.
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