Helping another person should feel natural, not forced.

In this story, a woman loves to work in her garden.

One of her male roommates repeatedly questioned why she never asked him for help.

She had already told him she would gladly accept help if he offered, but he insisted that she should be the one asking.

This confusing offer has left her increasingly uncomfortable and wondering if she was being unreasonable.

Read the full story below to find out more.

AITA for not asking my roommate for help with the yard

I (32F) have a current living situation with two roommates.

One (33M) is a best friend of ten years. The other (34M), we hardly know.

My best friend is the more social of the two of us and spends a lot of time out on the couch.

I tend to stay in my room because I don’t like to leave it unless I am going somewhere specific or working on a project.

We exist in the space, but don’t tend to hang out. The other man also generally stays in his room.

This woman loves to do gardening.

Lately, I have been working outside as it’s gardening season.

I’m making planter boxes and trimming trees and bushes, digging flower beds, mowing… the works.

My friend has medical issues that keep him from doing much outside, which makes him a bit sad.

That is relevant because the other man often sees me working outside alone through his window.

He has confronted me several times now about why I don’t ask him for help.

She feels weird about asking someone she doesn’t know to help her when she doesn’t really need help.

Each time, I have told him that it’s because I don’t need help. I don’t. I am having fun outside.

But if he sees me outside and he would like to help, I will absolutely be glad to put him to work.

He works five days a week.

Personally, I feel weird about asking a man I don’t know on his off days to assist me with my own projects.

To me personally, knocking on his door for that would feel both unnecessary and kind of rude.

Especially when I don’t need assistance.

Plus, her roommate shuts her down whenever she asks.

However, when I tell him I would accept his help if he ever asks, he always shuts it down and says he’s not going to do that.

Only to bring it up again when we cross paths if I’ve been working outside.

He also gets drunk and angry and frustrated at night, and that exact issue came up again recently.

That I should be the one to ask him, he shouldn’t have to ask me if I need help.

So now, she thinks it’s becoming totally crazy.

I’m starting to feel a bit crazy about it, because that seems very backwards.

When again, I do not need help, nor do I really know this man.

It makes me uncomfortable.

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But hey, it’s happened enough that I’m genuinely beginning to wonder, AITA?

OP has made it clear that she doesn’t need help.

But out of courtesy, she asked her roommate for help since he had expressed before that he wanted to help.

But after getting shut down a couple of times, it’s understandable why she started thinking that the whole situation is becoming so messed up.

Let’s read the responses of other people on this story.

This user gives their honest opinion,

He’s being weird, says this one.

Another one chimes in.

Here’s a quick suggestion.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a couple who is sick and tired of their neighbor’s kids dumping trash on their patio.
Finally, short and simple.

If you want to lend a hand, sometimes you actually have to extend it first.