His Grandma Said He Couldn’t Go Outside Until He Ate—So He Made the Grossest Sandwich He Could
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Parents and grandparents often have rules that might not make sense when you are little, but you have to find a way to follow them anyway.
What would you do if, when you were little, your grandma said that you couldn’t go outside to play with your friends until you ate lunch, but your friends were going to start a water fight right away?
That is what happened when the guy in this story was young, so he ran to the pantry and threw together a sandwich made of the most unlikely (and disgusting) ingredients.
This is one of those funny stories from childhood that everyone loves. Read through the full details below and see what you think of what he did.
“You can’t play with your friends until you’ve eaten”
When I was young, my Grandma would occasionally babysit me and my brothers while my parents went away for the weekend.
During one such weekend, a blisteringly hot one in the early ’90s when I was around 8 years old, I received a knock on the door around tea time from a group of local kids.
One of them, an only child with affluent parents, had been gifted the latest SuperSoaker – you know, the one with two massive watertanks whose mere use was the water-fight equivalent of a war crime in the opinions of some of the less fortunate kids.
Grandma just wanted what was best for him.
Excited at the prospect of testing my mettle against this obviously superior firepower, I ran upstairs and grabbed my own water pistol, filling it in the bathroom sink before heading back to the front door.
Now, my Grandmother, bless her, had some pretty entrenched ideas on what she considered risky behaviours. For example, there was no bigger killer amongst the under 10s than walking on a tile floor without socks in Autumn/Winter.
Another intolerably reckless activity was risking malnutrition by playing with the local kids on an empty stomach.
What is this kid going to do?
So, as I rushed to join my peers in an afternoon of water-based warfare, I felt my Grandmother grab me by the wrist. She insisted that I eat something before I was allowed to play.
My protestations did nothing to break her iron will, or her iron grip.
Fuming that I should miss even a second of the combat, I followed her to the kitchen whereupon my 8 year old mind hatched a devious plan to teach her a lesson she wouldn’t soon forget.
This sounds disgusting.
Rifling through the cupboards, the bread-bin and the fridge, I acquired the ingredients. Shielding them from view as I worked, I constructed a monstrosity that would shock my Grandmother to her very core.
I placed a slab of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk chocolate on a slice of bread, topped it off with HP sauce (a condiment best described as a spicy, brown ketchup) and then folded the thing into a grotesque approximation of a sandwich.
Maintaining eye contact with the visibly shaken 70 year old woman, I devoured the thing. I even enjoyed it, but perhaps that was more to do with the sweet taste of victory than of the sandwich itself.
Having left her speechless, I turned, strode to the front door and exited to join the battle.
It sounds pretty gross, but it was the fastest thing he could find so he could get outside and play. Who can blame him?
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this funny story.
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This commenter thinks the sandwich sounds good.
Sliding like this can be dangerous.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an uncle who is surprised to find his niece’s birthday party all about him after one unkind comment.
This is what I thought would happen too.
He did as he was told, even if it was gross. Of course, kids aren’t known for having the most refined palates anyway, so maybe he really did like it.
One has to wonder if his grandma changed the rules after this, though.
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