She Was Sick and Desperate for Sleep While Neighbors Partied Next Door — Her Solution Crossed a Line With Her Roommates
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Living with roommates can be a lot of fun. But living with roommates can also present a lot of challenges. In some ways it’s better if the folk you’re living with are people you know and trust already – it can reduce a lot of the early days awkwardness as you try to figure one another out. But at the same time, strangers can be better because then expectations and boundaries can be set from the beginning, without any assumptions being made.
Because boundaries are a huge part of living harmoniously with roommates – knowing what is and isn’t acceptable to the folk you live with, and what the expectations are of you as a roommate within the house. They’re a great way to avoid constant arguments about who is taking the trash out and when, and the only way to make sure you’re all on the same page from the outset.
Unfortunately for the woman in this story, living with folk she’d been friends with for years meant that there were very few clear boundaries, since they all knew one another well already and thus tended to make boundary assumptions based on those friendships. That hadn’t really been a problem at all – until she was in a difficult situation in the middle of the night, that is.
Read on to find out what she did that had the potential to upset her roommates.
AITA for sleeping in my roommate’s bed?
I (25, female) live with three roommates. Two of them are in a relationship and share a bed. We’re all super close and we’ve been friends for years.
These past couple of weeks, I have been living by myself in the apartment as they’re all on vacation.
Two days ago, our downstairs neighbors came to warn me they were going to throw a birthday party. They were very considerate and apologetic about it, and I told them not to worry – it’s a Saturday night, you’re young, have fun.
The timing was not the best for me as I had been sick for a week and was very tired, but I figured I’d just sleep with my headphones and it would be fine.
Let’s see how the situation turned out.
It was not fine. Around 11pm, I was dying to sleep but they were all hanging out on the balcony right beneath my window and the bass was shaking my bed.
Our walls are very thin and it was still very early for a Saturday night (plus it’s the first party they’ve ever thrown since moving in and they seem like sweet kids), so I didn’t want to kill their fun.
I figured my room was where the sound was the loudest, and my roommates’ rooms were a little bit quieter.
I texted in the group chat asking if I could sleep in someone else’s bed tonight, but they’re all across the world right now and no one saw my message.
Ultimately, she decided she had to take decisive action.
After tossing and turning for another hour, I grabbed my own blanket and pillow and went to sleep in the couple’s bed, as their room was the furthest away from the noise.
The next morning, I saw all three of them had replied after I fell asleep. The couple let me know they felt a bit uncomfortable with the idea of me sleeping in their bed, and my other roommate said it was fine and to go ahead.
I feel bad for not waiting for an answer. I washed their sheets and put everything back but I still don’t know if I should tell them or not. Should I have waited? Am I wrong for not confessing right away? I feel like it’s too late now…
AITA?
Honestly, this is a really tricky situation.
She was being a good neighbour by letting the party go on and living around it, but also she was sick and exhausted and needed somewhere to sleep.
In hindsight, she probably shouldn’t have slept in their bed without their permission, because even though they are friends there are certain boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed – but she was also in a desperate situation.
Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.
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This person agreed that she could’ve been more respectful, but understood why she was pushed to act.
While others thought that it was weird that her roommates said no.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a resident who is not amused by new parking rules, so locks a lot gate to teach management a lesson.
Meanwhile, this Redditor thought she should be honest with them.
The truth is, she made a choice in a difficult situation. It turns out not to have been the best choice, but she didn’t know that when she was making the decision, she was desperate and chose something that seemed logical at the time. She must have felt so guilty when she woke up and found out they’d said no – and clearly did everything she could to make things right. But now she understandably has this weight pressing down on her, wondering whether or not she should tell her roommates the truth.
Honesty is the best policy here, and though it might make everyone uncomfortable, it’s better them finding out through her apologising than them finding out down the line – perhaps wondering why their sheets smell so fresh – and learning through that situation that she kept the truth from them. She knows she made a mistake, best to be honest about it now and pledge not to make the same mistake again than to lie and break their trust further. Sometimes we all make mistakes – hopefully they’ll understand that.
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