Family relationships are not always smooth and perfect.

In this story, a woman learned that her stepfather had died, but her mother had not even bothered to tell her.

She had spent years watching her mother treat him terribly.

They had a falling out years ago, so she became almost completely estranged from him and no longer wanted to attend his funeral.

Check out the full details below.

WIBTAH for not going to my stepfather’s funeral and services?

My mother latched onto my stepdad just a year after my father died when I was a child.

He was not a bad man, but a weak one.

My mother was/is a narcissistic abusive person who treated him terribly.

I tried to get him out and begged his children to get him away, all to no avail.

So I’ve been extremely low contact with them for most of my adulthood.

This woman cut her relationship with her stepdad.

We had an incident on a vacation when my stepdad became enraged over something stupid.

He screamed in front of my kids.

Since then, I’ve had almost no relationship at all with him.

He passed last night, and my mother didn’t even bother to tell me.

I found out through another person.

She decided not to attend her stepdad’s funeral services.

I don’t want to attend any services or funeral things for him.

I hate performative grief, and I’m glad he is gone. I think he is better away from my mother.

WIBTAH for skipping all his end-of-life stuff?

I’m not preventing my own children from attending.

They are old enough to go if they choose without me.

OP made a personal decision, and no one can blame her for that.

I agree that she does not owe anyone a performance of grief for someone she had barely considered part of her life for years.

Given the history between her and her stepdad, skipping the funeral is more of a personal choice rather than an act of disrespecting anyone.

Do you agree? Let’s see how others react to this story.

Short and sensible.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

Another one chimes in.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who had to sprint to the bathroom the moment he got home, then emerged to find his partner upset he didn’t greet her properly.

Here’s a valid point.

Finally, this one makes sense, too.

You don’t have to attend a funeral for someone you no longer have a relationship with.