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It’s not like parents have kids so that they’ll take care of them when they’re older, but it often is what happens. Whether that means helping them choose an assisted living facility or having the parent move into their home, a lot of kids end up taking care of their parents as they age.

In this story, one man has decided he’s not going to help his dad out at all. He’s pretty mad at his dad, and I think his feelings are justified. From the way he was treated as a kid, to the way his dad treated his mom, and then the latest slap in the face about the inheritance, it would be quite a lot to overlook and forgive.

But he feels a little bit conflicted. He’s wondering if he’s being too harsh.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITAH for going to tell my dad that I’m not going to tell my dad I’m not going to take care of him when he gets older?

I’m in my early 40s and my dad is 71.

Long story short: Dad was physically and verbally abusive to my brother and I growing up, but as I got older I tried to forgive him, and we somewhat get along well.

He’s also been verbally abusive to my mom since they’ve divorced 25 years ago, and I’ve had to hang up and tell him to stop that multiple times throughout the year.

My mom is an angel and has done nothing wrong.

Yikes! This would be a shock!

My brother and I were having a video call with dad last week and we were talking about a will, which he has not set one up.

His wife/my mother-in-law passed away a few years ago.

Out of nowhere, he told us that he will not be leaving us an inheritance, and that the two houses he owns will instead go to my 6 year-old nephew, and he started laughing after he said that.

This caught me by surprise, since he told us last year that if something were to happen to him, my brother and I would split everything in half.

He has made a decision.

After my mom divorced him 25 years ago, he became bitter and blames mom for every single thing wrong in his life.

In addition to not leaving us any inheritance as well as the past abuse and continued verbal assault of my mom, I have decided that I am not going to take care of him when he gets older. He will have to hire someone to do that.

Someone tell me I’m wrong in my situation.

Why take care of him? If he’s not going to take care of his kids by giving them an inheritance, they definitely shouldn’t feel obligated to help him out when he gets older. Let the nephew do it.

Let’s see if Reddit agrees.

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This person doesn’t think he should feel obligated to help his dad.

Another person thinks he should cut contact now.

This person calls the dad selfish.

I’m not wishing this would happen.

His dad sounds cruel. Why would he refuse to give his kids an inheritance and instead leave everything to a nephew? After all he has put his sons through, there is no reason for them to even communicate with him anymore. He’s awful, and he obviously doesn’t care about them. They really should cut him out of their lives now.

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Author

Jayne Elliott

Jayne Elliott | Contributing Writer, Life & Drama

Jayne Elliott is a contributing writer and editor for TwistedSifter specializing in human interest stories, internet culture, and family dynamics. With over 12 years of editorial experience in digital publishing, Jayne excels at analyzing complex online communities and transforming viral social debates into thoughtful, highly engaging narratives.

Rather than simply aggregating internet drama, Jayne brings a sharp, empathetic editorial eye to everyday dilemmas. She has a unique talent for unpacking the nuances of pop culture and online conflicts, providing readers with relatable, well-researched commentary.

Based in California, Jayne spends her free time outside the newsroom exploring theme parks with her family or beach-combing along the coast.

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