There’s nothing wrong with wanting an update, but sometimes there just isn’t anything new to tell.

One IT worker ran into that after a newly promoted manager asked him to order software for her latest project.

He placed the order, but three hours later, she came back upset that he hadn’t sent her hourly updates.

Even after he explained they were waiting for delivery, she insisted he keep sending them anyway.

So he set up a program to email her automatically, then gradually shortened the time between messages to five minutes.

Read on to see what happened once the software arrived.

Marco vs. Micro Management

The heat of the summer had started to burn into the roof of the building, forcing its occupants to move from hidden heaters under the desks to hidden fans.

The air conditioner, which had been idling on heat, had been swung over to cool, its increased rumbling a soundtrack to summer.

With all these changes around the office, managers also got in on the act. Updated policy documents spun round the office.

LeadOne: Milestones are essential to any project!

Suddenly, he realized he had no idea why the woman was in his office.

LeadOne stood in my office with her hands on her hips. She looked disapprovingly down at my vacant stare. My mind was too busy to care about her trivial projects. I was dreaming of the beach. Perhaps a holiday?

Me: Yes.

It slowly dawned on me that I’d no idea what LeadOne was in my office for. It just seemed right to agree with the angry woman. I tried piecing the conversation together in my head, but it was still filled with sand.

LeadOne: So you agree?

Me: Milestones are essential…?

He didn’t what he was agreeing to, but he did so anyway.

LeadOne: You’ll update me. How often? Hourly?

Me: Err…

I thought of all the things IT could do hourly. Nothing came to mind. I had come too far into the conversation to admit I’d no idea what we were discussing. I was in too deep.

LeadOne: Okay! I’ll get back upstairs, and you make sure you update me hourly. We need to stay on top of this.

Me: Yes. Hourly. On top.

At this point, he needed to figure out what she was talking about.

Blessedly, the conversation ended. As soon as she’d left the department, I started searching for LeadOne’s most recent policy changes, hoping for a clue as to what I was doing.

I found one.

Recently, LeadOne had been promoted to lead of development. She was forcing through a number of measures to increase workplace efficiency.

“Making her mark” with management. She’d announced a new tracking scheme aimed at larger projects to keep them on track. To get the tracker up and running, she wanted IT to purchase a host of project management programs.

I checked the prices and sent a quick confirmation email to LeadOne, which she promptly replied affirmatively to.

He couldn’t help but feel sorry for the people who would have to deal with the changes.

I frowned as I thought of the poor souls I was condemning by making this purchase. The screams of frustration and micromanagement haunted me as I made the relevant orders.

A few hours later, I’d forgotten the horrors LeadOne was soon to inflict upon the development department. In fact, I was relaxing in my office with a fresh brew, a flights website clearly open.

Airz!!!! Came the angry voice from my door. LeadOne was standing with the air of a disapproving mother. She sauntered into the room with an angry tone.

LeadOne: It’s been three hours!

Me: Oh. The update, yes. Everything has been ordered.

She was upset that he wasn’t living up to his end of the bargain.

My words stuttered out as the overbearing figure of LeadOne surged forward with the look of a teacher catching a naughty student.

LeadOne: Hourly. I said hourly updates.

Me: Okay… well, we’ve ordered the software. When the payment has been processed, they’ll ship it to us. So I’ll let you know when it arrives.

LeadOne: No. I. Want. Hourly. Updates. As. Agreed.

LeadOne paced her words out like jabs. She had eyes that looked crazy. You couldn’t argue with insanity. My mouth opened to retort, but I could feel my coffee getting colder. I wanted her out.

He agreed to give her what she wanted, and she left.

Me: I’ll update you hourly, at the bare minimum.

LeadOne seemed to smile. Her eyes fell back from the insanity, and she looked normal again.

LeadOne: Good, I’ll eagerly await your updates.

She walked off with a hum, probably to find other people to harass into insanity. I popped open a new search tab and looked for an appropriate service. The dreams of a beach holiday fled my mind.

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Two hours later, I’d perfected the design of an “email cannon.”

Oddly enough, he never heard from her again.

I’d set a program to send a random vague message of “still waiting for the package” or “the software is in transit” every 20 minutes. It had taken time to write a huge list of valid short phrases to choose from. The flight tab I’d left open had completely timed out.

The next day, as the software had still not arrived, I set the email cannon to send a vague message every 10 minutes. Just to be sure.

The third day, the software was still in transit. To make up for this, I set the cannon to go off every 5 minutes. I didn’t want LeadOne to not be in the loop.

The software didn’t arrive for an entire fortnight. When it did arrive, oddly, LeadOne never came to consult about the next step, even after repeated emails. LeadOne’s project was canceled eventually. I chalked it up to lack of proper management. If only our company had some sort of tracker to check up on these things…

Oh my! It’s hard not wonder what happened to her.

Let’s see if the people over at Reddit have any ideas.

Apparently, this person isn’t impressed with what he did.

On the other hand, this person loves it.

This would’ve been golden.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a dad who can’t understand why his son can sleep in now that he’s not commuting to the office.

And this person basically thinks the same thing.

Is this even real?

Surely she knew it was going to take more than an hour to receive the order.

At any rate, he handled this well.

The only thing that would’ve made it better is if he’d made her respond to every one of his updates.