She Is Filing For Divorce To Get Away From Her Stepkids, But Their Maternal Grandparents Keep Criticizing Her For It
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Someone can treat one child wonderfully while still behaving terribly toward others.
For this mother, the loving bond between her daughter and a new stepmother seemed worth celebrating.
But that same woman was connected to a much harsher decision involving two older children.
Read on for the full conflict.
AITAH For Praising My Daughter’s Stepmother Despite Knowing How Terrible She Treats My Ex’s Other Children?
I (37f) have a daughter “Lori” (8f) with my ex husband “Jon” (45m). This is our only child together but Jon has two other kids from his first marriage “Jane” (17f) and “Alex” (15m).
Jane and Alex’s mom passed away when they were 5 and 3 and I met Jon when they were 7 and 5.
In the beginning everything started out well I made it clear to Jane and Alex that I had no intention of replacing their mom and made the effort to make sure her memory was kept alive in the house.
The kids seemed very receptive to me so I happily accepted Jon’s proposal.
It’s sweet that Jane and Alex were trying to help.
It wasn’t until I had Lori that things started to turn for the worse.
When Lori was a baby I really wanted her first word to be “Mama” so Jon and I got into the habit of referring to me as “Mama” and Jane and Alex started doing it too.
I NEVER asked them to do that and they only did it when Lori was in hear shot.
The grandparents ruined everything.
Unfortunately, they did that once in front of their maternal grandparents when I was dropping the kids off at their place and they went ballistic.
They got it into Jane and Alex’s head that I was tricking them into slowly turning them away from their mom and it all went downhill from there.
Jane and Alex turned on me and became very defiant and disrespectful.
Jon and I tried to have talks and do therapy sessions but it went nowhere thanks to the influence of their maternal side of the family.
The kids were so bad that she divorced Jon just to get away from them.
Eventually Jon decided to temporarily cut contact but the grandparents sued and won grandparents’ rights and it really came to bite Jon and I.
Alex and Jane became worse, and went so far as to tamper with my shampoo to make my hair fall out, call me inappropriate names in public, destroy my things, and became very rude to me parents.
It was rough and I honestly tried my best but when Jane spread a lie at school that prompted her teachers to contact the authorities, I was done.
As soon as my name was cleared I filed for divorced.
Jon eventually moved on.
Jon was heartbroken and begged me to stay but I just couldn’t live with the absence of peace.
Jane, Alex, and their maternal grandparents celebrated my departure and while I was hurt I was also relieved of not having to deal with the drama anymore.
Shortly after the divorce Jon met Kate (49f) and while I was cautious at first she showed me that she was a responsible and caring figure towards Lori so her and I have a respectful relationship.
Wow! I bet the kids were furious when they found out!
I guess Jon wasn’t willing to take the same arrow twice, so when Alex and Jane started acting up, he sent them to a boarding school where Kate had an in with the administration.
He just dropped them off there under the guise of it being a week long camp for the spring and never picked them up.
Their grandparents were furious, but legally they couldn’t do anything.
It sounds like she has an amazing relationship with Lori’s stepmom.
This past weekend was Lori’s birthday and because I was so busy with work (I am up for a promotion), Kate agreed to plan and host and I was extremely grateful.
She never made me feel like I was less of a mom and still made me look like a hero in Lori’s eyes.
When Lori asked for a picture with just the three of us I happily agreed and then posted it on social media with a message saying how happy I was that my daughter had another adult who loved her.
She defended herself.
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My former “Step In-Laws” (Jane and Alex’s grandparents) saw it and berated me for praising Kate in any way when she was clearly terrible to Jane and Alex.
I told them that I’m sure that Kate had her reasons and if they wanted me to care about Jane and Alex just as much as I do for Lori then they shouldn’t have pushed me away.
I’ve spoken to a few of my friends about this and some of them think that I’m in the wrong so I have to ask. AITAH?
Those horrible step-in-laws are the problem. They’re the reason Jane and Alex are at boarding school. They’re the reason OP got divorced. They really needed to mind their own business.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.
The maternal grandparents are 100% the problem.
The grandparents can only blame themselves.
This person encourages her to ignore the grandparents.
Seriously, why isn’t anyone mad at Jon?
This mother could appreciate Kate’s care for Lori, but excusing the deceptive boarding-school situation and dismissing the older children’s welfare crossed a line.
Jane and Alex had behaved terribly, yet the adults still had a responsibility to handle the situation safely and honestly.
Being wonderful to one child does not cancel cruelty toward two others.
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