I love going to see live music. I tend to go to shows alone partly because I can usually get a closer seat, but I also want to avoid the stress and drama of going to a concert with someone, like what happened in this story.

I don’t think I have a friendship this toxic, though.

Here’s what happened.

AITA for leaving my disabled friend behind as she was late?

A friend and I had made plans to go see a concert. We’re both neurodiverse.

We were working to a budget so paid for non-changeable tickets using a railcard that gives two people a discount if they’re travelling together. I told her the earlier train as I couldn’t afford any extra expenses.

OP made plenty of wiggle room to prevent this, yet it happened anyway.

A was late. Missed the earlier time. I confessed I’d told her the wrong time as “I know what she is like” and told her the actual time. She laughed and said she was on her way.

Loyalty only goes so far. Why should a ticket go to waste?

A rang me, asked where I was, I told her I was on the train, but if she spoke to the ticket desk they could help her book a later train if she still wanted to come. She started shouting at me, saying I was horrible for leaving her behind and that I knew she couldn’t afford another ticket.

I’m on the fence about this as disabilities affect people differently. That said, I’d never expect someone to miss out on something if I didn’t keep my promise. What’s the point?

She blamed her ADHD for being late – which I said wasn’t an excuse, as I have ADHD too and managed to make it. In the past I’ve shared tips with her on what I do to be on time for things. I told her I was happy to meet her at the venue, if she could get here. Her response was that she was going home and didn’t want to go anymore.

I’m glad the other ticket didn’t go to waste, but it’s a shame to feel angry at a concert.

I rang another friend (Z) who lives near the venue, and said I had a spare ticket, they went with me. We had a great time, but I was angry at the other friend.

I don’t get this. She can have another outing with this friend any time. Why miss a concert just to hang out at the same time that it’s happening.

A couple of mutual friends are saying I’m in the wrong and should have waited and hung out with her instead of going as I made plans to spend the day with A, and not with Z.

I’m confused now. I’m asking Reddit. Reddit, AITA?

Let’s see what the commenters had to say.

I don’t know about this one. Most of my dearest friends have been totally different from me.

I thought the same thing. It’s pretty hypocritical and unreasonable.

Great point. I have disabilities and can’t imagine using them to manipulate people. It’s not only awful for your friend, but an insult to people with disabilities in general.

Exactly. Sounds like OP’s friend is trying to twist this to suggest OP denied her accessibility, when she didn’t do that at all. She was very accomodating.

I can personally attest to many legitimate reasons for chronic lateness, but this is TOO late, even for the wiggle room OP made to prevent this from happening.

Go to a concert alone and see what you think!

It’s almost nicer to not have to talk and instead just listen.

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