The best revenge is living well.

But listen, if that revenge also sticks in the craw of your neighbors?

I say so much the better.

This young family is doing their best to keep up with everything, but their neighbors don’t care.

Find out what happens when he comes up with a way to get some spiteful revenge.

#spitegarden (Retired Neighbors Make Life Heck for Spouse and I)

My wife and I work opposite shifts with her going in to work early morning and getting home in time for us to hug/kiss and then I’m out the door for my job that takes me past midnight.

I also work rotating weekends and am on call during bad weather.

We have 3 children, the oldest just finished pre-k, so they are not old enough to be on their own.

He tries to keep up, but his neighbors just sit back and watch.

In the rainy season our grass gets pretty long because in order for mowing to get done, both of us have to be home so this usually gets done every other week and that’s *IF* it doesn’t also happen to be storming.

So there are times the grass gets crazy.

Both of our neighbors on either side of us are retired. They have all the time in the world to care for their lawn (but they hire people to do it for them anyway) and they look immaculate.

Our lawn, aside from the length, is free of weeds (bermuda grass tends to choke everything else out) and is overall taken care of.

And complain to the police about the length of their lawn.

So our neighbors, because they have nothing better to do, will call the city and report our lawn’s “unsightly length” two or three times a month to try and “motivate us” to keep it cut.

And we’re talking the DAY AFTER I let it go for a week because I happened to be on call that weekend.

They don’t care about their real issues in trying to keep all of the balls in the air.

Now I have spoken with both of my neighbors about the time constraints that my wife and I have, it’d be one thing if we didn’t have kids or if they were older and my wife and I could go out and mow when we have the time.

But this has fallen on deaf ears.

My typical work week is about 50+ hours in busy crunch time which, of course, also occurs in the rainy/mowing season but I assure them that when it’s a clear day and we’re both home, the yard work gets done.

This of course falls on deaf boomer ears. One of them called me lazy and that when THEY were young and married with kids they worked three jobs and made it work and I just don’t take pride in caring for my lawn and blah blah blah.

Another one suggested that I mow during the day while my wife is gone and let the kids run around in the yard while I do so.

Yes that sounds totally safe, no way a 5, 3, and 2 year old are in ANY danger while I’m pushing a mower with a spinning blade.

There was one time I was trimming with my kids outside and our 2 year old comes up and tries to stick his hand into the trimmer.

Yeah, no they need to be watched over while one of us is mowing.

So, he has come up with a plan.

So of course I was angry at their response. But being a mid-western American used to mid-west passive aggression, I got an idea.

I’m just going to convert our back yard and alley into a garden, we’re talking “Hanging Gardens of Babylon” levels of ostentatious.

The tallest, bushiest, and vine-iest plants I can find. We’re talking pumpkins, sunflowers, corn, watermelons, berries, lavender.

Even getting some stinky plants like onions, garlic, globemaster, or cleome (which benefit the garden because they attract bees and humming birds and repel leaf eating pests.)

The garden is going to be a THICC BOI surpassing ANY length or bushy levels my grass ever got. The added benefit is, while it’s a lot of work to start up.

Going out and pulling weeds is something safe I can totally do during the day with the kids running around in the yard.

A plan that will likely pay dividends in more than revenge.

Our fences on either side are chain link, so all the smelly plants and tall-bois are going right along side the property line of the neighbors.

I’m calling it my “Spite Garden” Everything will have labels like “Curb Appeal Cucumbers” and “These Peppers are Permitted” and my personal favorites: “*jack-off motion* Jalepenos” and the raspberries labels are a picture of someone blowing a raspberry, courtesy of my artistic wife.

There are no city ordinance on gardens other than they cannot be in the front lawn and as long as I keep it maintained and weeded, there is nothing the neighbors can do.

I honestly love this for him.

I just bet that Reddit will, too.

This person thinks the move is genius.

Freedom isn’t for HOA folks.

We can’t wait.

Thick and healthy.

Retired people are so fun.

This is going to be beautiful.

I think these neighbors honestly did them a favor.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.