Her Sibling Kept Assuming She’d Handle School Pickup—Then Got Angry When She Finally Said No
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Helping out family should feel like a choice, not an assumption made on your behalf without warning.
One woman had always been willing to pick up her sister’s kids from school whenever she was actually free, but that all changed when her sister started telling the kids she was coming without checking first, leaving her scrambling to rearrange plans.
She was forced to oblige the first time, but the second, she put her foot down.
Rather than acknowledge the miscommunication, her sister got frustrated, insisting family shouldn’t need to ask before assuming help was available.
Read on for the full story.
AITA for refusing to keep picking up my sister’s kids when she doesn’t ask me first?
My sister has two kids, and every now and then she’ll ask me to pick them up from school if she gets stuck at work.
I’ve never really minded helping out when I’m free.
Lately though, she’s started telling the kids that I’m picking them up without actually checking with me first.
This obviously created some big issues.
The first time it happened, my nephew called me asking where I was.
I had no idea I was supposed to be picking them up.
A few minutes later, my sister called and said she just assumed I could do it because I normally help.
So being the good person she was, she put the kids first to her own detriment. She hoped that was the end of it, but it wasn’t.
I didn’t want the kids to be stuck there, so I moved some things around and went to get them.
Then it happened again the next week.
This time I already had plans and couldn’t just drop everything. I told her I wasn’t able to pick them up, and she got annoyed with me.
She said I should’ve told her sooner.
I reminded her that she never actually asked me. I told her I’m happy to help when I can, but she can’t make plans based on my availability without checking first.
Her sibling continues to bury her head in the sand.
She said I was making things way more complicated than they needed to be, and that family should be able to help each other without having to ask every single time.
My mom agrees with her and thinks I’m making too much out of a simple favor.
I don’t see it that way. If she asks and I’m available, I’ll probably say yes. I just don’t want to find out I’m responsible for picking up her kids because she already told them I was coming.
Now my sister says I’m making things harder for her, but I feel like I’m only asking for a little consideration. AITA?
What is it about parenthood that makes some people feel entitled to others’ time?
What did Reddit have to say?
This mom really needs to figure out a more sustainable system for school pickup.
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Mind readers are not a thing!
It’s just wrong to make her kids suffer from her poor planning skills.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who offered to buy his parents a house with his lottery winnings, only to find out they think they deserve half of all his winnings.
Boundaries are long overdue here.
Being generally willing to help doesn’t mean help should ever be assumed without confirmation, and this woman’s request is about as reasonable as boundaries get.
Finding out you’re responsible for picking up kids because someone else already promised it on your behalf isn’t a small miscommunication. It’s a genuine planning failure that puts both her and the kids in a horrible position.
No one likes being volun-told, especially for childcare.
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