Parents Turn Sisters Against Each Other By Constantly Comparing Them, So Much So That When One Sister Has Her First Child, The Other Refuses To Visit Them
by Ryan McCarthy
Just because you love your siblings, doesn’t mean you necessarily always like them. Sometimes no matter how much you love them, your personalities just don’t mix.
But sometimes sibling rivalry isn’t as much an issue between siblings, as it is an issue with the parents!
Like when this user was negatively compared to her older sister by her parents her entire life, so much so that when her sister had her first child, OP didn’t even want to visit them!
Was she wrong to take her parents’ favoritism out on her sister?
Decide for yourself!
AITA for refusing to visit my sister and her newborn
I (22F) am the youngest of three in my family. My parents got married when they were both 20 and had my sister and brother pretty quickly after.
They’ve always planned on just two kids, but they accidentally became pregnant with me when they were 38, making my sister and brother 16 and 15 years older than me respectively.
My parents and family have constantly reminded me throughout my childhood up until now that I was the mistake in sly ways.
But it wasn’t just in “sly ways”, it was saying outright they wish they hadn’t had OP!
My mom on few occasions had told me she wished she never had me because I ruined her body.
Growing up, I was often compared to my sister and always reminded of how I paled in comparison to her.
Relatives would often berate me about my appearance, especially acne which I have no control over.
My aunt once told me it is a shame that I was born dark and how my parents were blessed to have one daughter with lighter skin.
And OP said that even worse, their comparison had no basis in any sort of reality!
My own mother would say how much of a disappointment I am for not being as educationally gifted as my sister even though we both got A’s in high school and college.
She has even told me that my degree wasn’t as useful as my sister’s even though our careers are in the same field.
My father would avoid looking or speaking with me, but would constantly communicate with my other two siblings.
He would only speak with me if he had an issue with what I was doing. Because of this, over the years, I have developed dislike towards her.
So much so that OP couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as her sister…
I hate being near her, and I loathe seeing her.
I would often evade her if she entered a room. Also, because of our age difference, we have never really talked properly or interacted a whole bunch.
I’ve never heard her say anything bad about me, but I just can’t help it. I dislike her.
But once OP had some independence, she finally started living her life without her family’s constant comparisons…
When I left for college, I really started enjoying life again and became more social.
In general, I felt happier and freer and felt like I didn’t have to act so grumpy and depressed all the time like when I was at home.
However, after I’ve graduated, I have come back home for the summer and have regressed back into that mentality.
And on top of the regular comparison, OP now had to deal with her family’s fawning over her sister’s first pregnancy…
It didn’t help that my sister was pregnant with her first child after suffering from infertility. Everyone around me constantly talked about how she looks radiant and beautiful.
Earlier last week, she gave birth to a baby girl, and everyone has been visiting her at the hospital.
I was able to weasel my way out of going when she was in labor, but now, everyone is pushing me to go, calling me rude and selfish if I don’t.
I just don’t want to go because I don’t know what I’ll say if I hear one more person make a comparison or compliment her.
It’s sad that OP had been pushed to the point where she resented such a huge accomplishment of her sister’s, but ultimately the family has no one but themselves to blame!
Reddit said that OP’s feelings were completely valid, but that her anger towards her sister seemed somewhat misplaced…
And this user agreed, saying that if OP couldn’t visit her niece because she was too scared to hear someone compliment her, something was wrong.
Many said that OP really needed to talk about the family dynamic directly with her sister.
And finally, this user said it’s sad that many people feel more at home with friends than they do with family.
Goes to show how bad parenting can turn kids against each other!
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
![envelope](https://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/envelope-80.jpg)
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.