What would you do if a friend who was supposed to be a bridesmaid in your wedding started distancing herself from you?

What if you then found out that she was hiding important facts about her life from you?

Would you choose to ignore the situation, or would you tell the friend you don’t want her to be a bridesmaid anymore?

That’s the situation the bride-to-be in today’s story is facing, and she’s not sure what to do about it.

Let’s see how the story unfolds.

AITA for asking one of my bridesmaids not to be my bridesmaid anymore because of her situationship?

I (25F) am getting married to the love of my life in September of this year.

We got engaged in July of last year and announced a date pretty quickly afterwards.

Along with that, I asked my six closest friends to be my bridesmaids, and everyone happily said yes.

One of my bridesmaids, A (26F) has been my friend for nearly seven years now.

The friend is in a bad situationship.

Last year, she got into a situationship so bad that it started to affect our friend group because we were all so exhausted to hear about her awful man that we didn’t feel like hanging out anymore.

We knew that she would cry about him for the entire duration of the hangout and we would feel bad for her, and give her advice that she would go on to ignore.

This summer right after our engagement, my partner and I planned a vacation for all my bridesmaid to come on, and we spent pretty much the whole week consoling her about her situationship not working out — only for her to get back with him a few days after getting home.

It seems like her friend was pretty understanding.

I talked to my other friends, and we all realized we were getting fed up with her behavior, so I decided that I would be brave and be the first to let her know.

I told her everything, and also that her bf wasn’t welcome at my wedding at all.

She told me she wouldn’t invite him because they were « broken up for good » and that she understood I didn’t want to hear about him going forward.

During this conversation I also asked her if she still wanted to be my bridesmaid because I felt like she was more and more distant with me, and she assured me that she really wanted to.

Her friend didn’t stay true to her word.

Four months after this conversation, she’s grown even more distant.

I’ve learned from a mutual friend of ours (and another one of my bridesmaids) that it’s because A has essentially started to move in with her boyfriend, and has made another friend group.

She also doesn’t want me to find out that she has gotten back together with him, as if I’m her mother and she’s hiding things from me..?

To me it only shows that she knows she’s not making the right decisions but doesn’t want to admit it.

It sounds like the friend has been talking about her behind her back for quite awhile.

This has left me pretty jaded.

It feels like she’s moved on to another group that validates her relationship, and I feel a bit icky inviting her into the backstage of my big celebration of love when she’ll barely reply to my texts anymore.

Additional context: she told one of our friends that she couldn’t rejoice when the news of my engagement dropped because my happiness reminded her that her relationship was not working out well.

That was back in July but it still stings.

Also I can’t imagine why she would tell our mutual friend and think I wouldn’t hear about it.

She’s not sure if she still wants the friend to be a bridesmaid.

Still, I feel like taking away the bridesmaid role would sign the end of our friendship, and I am not ready to say goodbye to her.

But I also feel like I put in a lot more effort in our friendship in the last year and a half while she’s moving on to other things and people.

Would I be a jerk if I did that?

That’s a tough situation. It sounds like she needs to have a heart to heart with her friend.

Let’s hear what Reddit thinks about this story.

This is a good point.

Here’s the perspective of a woman who wishes she hadn’t been a bridesmaid in her friend’s wedding.

They aren’t really friends anymore.

This reader explains why the friendship has fallen apart.

Here’s a good question for her to ask herself to decide what to do.

Her friend might not even want to be a bridesmaid anymore.

It sounds like it’s time to move on.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.