Would you ever consider letting an in-law permanently move in with you? Would it make a difference if you lived in a very expensive location and sharing rent or a mortgage with an in-law would mean you could afford a bigger place?

The man in today’s story is completely opposed to the idea of his girlfriend’s mother moving in with them, but he’s wondering if he should let her move in anyway.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA For not moving my gfs mother in permanently?

So I’ve been in a relationship with my gf for 5 years now. We’ve been living together going on two years.

It’s been nice.

We had some time where we lived with roommates and it was a pain but now that we have our privacy, I love it. This is something I’ve always wanted for years.

Once you move out on your own you understand and never wanna go back.

His girlfriend’s mom is going through a rough time in her life.

For the past year my gfs mother has been battling a divorce. It was talk for years but finally (not sure what straw broke the camels back considering they have been married for 25-30 years) she went through with it and it’s been going on ever since.

Since then however her mental issues have grown which is understandable but she comes from an old school Latina like background where therapy is not a priority and put on the back burner and in the last 3/4 months she calls my gf via ft (because we live in California & she lives in New York) and says things that are just not normal.

And she’s really letting this get to her and doesn’t take the help that’s offered to get back on her feet mentally

I understand it’s easier said than done but you have to make an effort. I went through depression before and it took me making the effort to wanna change. Back to the story.

His girlfriend wants her mom to move closer to them.

So my gf said it’s looking like it’s final and she’s gonna come into some money soon but not a ton and she wants her to come to California which I think is a great idea.

What’s asked after though definitely raised concerns.

My gf tells me California is expensive so she probably cannot live on her own.

Which as a native of this state, it’s definitely true.

Now his girlfriend has a very big request.

So she then asks “can my mother move in with us?”

I’m very puzzled by this question and I don’t mind her living with us temporarily but when I ask for how long she states “well… permanently. We could probably buy a house together or rent a two bedroom apt and live in it”

I was thrown off and definitely on the fence.

He’s not really on the fence. He wants to say “no.”

I love her mother but I have no desire to live with her.

Temporarily to help her get a new start? 1000% but to live with her permanently even when we eventually get married and have kids? Hell no.

She’s shown zero signs that she wants to help herself mentally so imo I don’t think I’m obligated to live with her mother forever.

He is REALLY against this idea.

It sounds like living in misery.

I know how people get when their mental isn’t 100% and that’s just another problem on top of it.

For other context I believe she’s 61 or 62. Not exactly elderly age by definition. Doesn’t need any type of care taking,

So AITA for not wanting to live with her mother forever?

The answer is a clear “no.” He has already decided. It sounds like the real question is how to break the news to his girlfriend without her getting upset.

Let’s see what advice Reddit offers.

This person wouldn’t let the mom move in.

Another person asks some very good questions.

Just say no!

Let her move nearby but not in the same house!

If he agrees to his girlfriend’s request, it’ll be the end of their relationship.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.