My father-in-law passed away yesterday after being in the hospital for 3 weeks. I was there every step of the way for my husband, his kids, his brother, his brother’s family, and his parents.

I stayed at the hospital as much as I could, drove his mom back and forth, cooked and brought meals, all while balancing the shop that my husband and I own together.

Last night was the first night I slept through the night and got more than three hours of undisturbed sleep.

Finally, there is something to look forward to.

A few months ago before my father-in-law got sick, I planned a trip to Europe with my brother. We were supposed to go July 13-18.

My husband told me the soonest date the funeral home had for the service was the 16 and 17 so that’s when they’re having the funeral. He says it’s fine if I miss it.

I asked if we could do a just family celebration of life when my brother-in-law’s family returns so we plan on doing that on the 8th since the 16-17 are open for everyone to come.

She’s not sure if she should still go on the trip.

I’m so torn because my brother and I recently got close after decades of family drama that made it impossible for us to have a good relationship.

We were both so looking forward to this trip.

He paid for and planned everything which was such a nice older brother thing to do and it’s non-refundable.

He was nice enough to give me the out so I could stay in town for the funeral even though he knows I can’t afford to pay him back.

She feels like she should stay.

I know what I should do. I should stay and part of me wants to stay.

I want to do both but I can’t.

One more piece: My husband and I have been on very rocky terms for at least two years now. I moved out in January 2025 and have been living on my own since then while he and his kids continue to live in the house.

His dad being sick brought us together more and it seems things have started to look up between us but we’re still not physically affectionate like how we used to be and the “I love yous” have only come out once this year – when his dad passed.

Would I be a jerk if I didn’t stay for the funeral?

Should she go on vacation with her brother or stay in town for her father-in-law’s funeral?

Here is what people are saying on Reddit.

She’s done her bit.

She did more than her part for sure.

That’s true. So nothing to feel bad about.

That is wise.

She was a wonderful presence for him.

I hope she went and had a great time.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.