Imagine being a stepparent who raises your stepchildren 100% of the time.

If you arranged and paid for a family photoshoot, would you be willing to send the pictures to your stepchildren’s grandmother?

In this story, one stepmother is in this exact situation, and she does not want to share the pictures. Her husband thinks she’s being petty.

Is he right?

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for not wanting to send my stepdaughters’ grandmother the individual photos from our family photoshoot?

I (36F) am married to my husband (34M). His two daughters, 12 and 14, have lived with us full-time for the past three years.

The relationship with their mom is complicated.

The girls originally lived with her, but the living conditions became unsafe they had rats and roaches in the home, she moved them through three schools in 18 months, and was constantly unstable.

They pay for almost everything.

My husband was paying child support, but we honestly never knew where the money went. It got bad enough that he started splitting the payment, half on the 1st and half on the 15th because she would blow through it immediately.

Eventually, the girls came to live with us full-time because we could provide stability. Since then, we’ve paid for everything clothes, medical care, therapy, activities, school stuff, etc.

She doesn’t pay child support now, and we live in another state. The only thing she’s responsible for is their flights to visit her.

Half the time she can’t even pay for those. The girls’ grandmother often steps in and covers for her.

She’s a very busy and involved stepmom.

I’m the one who handles 95% of the parenting duties. I do all the pickups, drop-offs, appointments, activities, therapy sessions, etc. I’ve rearranged my work schedule around their needs.

I’m not complaining, I love the girls and I’m happy to be there for them. But it’s been a lot.

Recently, I realized we had never taken professional family photos, so I planned a whole session. I researched photographers, booked the shoot, paid for it, coordinated outfits, scheduled hair appointments for the girls and myself, everything.

The photos turned out amazing. My husband posted them on Facebook.

The girls’ grandma had a request.

The next day, the oldest told me that her grandma said she loved our family pictures and asked if she could send her the individual pictures of the girls.

I told my husband I wanted to send a polite message explaining that I paid for and orchestrated the entire session for our family, and I’m not comfortable sending the individual photos for someone else to redistribute or use in ways I didn’t intend.

I offered to send her other pictures I’ve taken of the girls instead.

Her husband is NOT on her side.

My husband thinks I’m being petty and that they’re just pictures.

I think it’s weird for the grandma to ask for the photos through the kids instead of directly asking us. She does this a lot plays telephone instead of communicating like an adult.

I don’t want these photos ending up with their mom. These pictures were something special for our family, and grandma asking for only the individual shots feels like she’s cutting me and their dad out of the picture figuratively and literally.

She’s trying to set boundaries.

I’ve been raising these kids for years, and I’m still constantly made to feel like I don’t belong.

Setting boundaries is something I’ve only recently started doing for my own sanity.

AITA for not wanting to send the grandmother the individual photos from our family photoshoot?

I can see her perspective, but I’d probably let the grandma have the photos.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

One person thinks the stepmother needs therapy.

Another person points out why the grandmother wants the pictures.

This person agrees with the husband that OP is being petty.

A stepparent weighs in.

Some things are meant to be shared.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.