She’s Already Raising the Kids and Running the House—So She Refuses When Her Husband Wants Her to Do His Laundry Too
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It’s hard to call something “helping out” when both people already have more than enough on their plates.
One stay-at-home mom is dealing with that while caring for two children, including a 12-year-old with serious medical needs.
Meanwhile, her husband works long hours and says he barely gets any time to unwind.
So, he asked her to take over his weekly laundry too, even though she already folds and puts everything away.
She understands why he feels overwhelmed, but she’s running on empty herself.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA not doing more to help out my husband?
My (43F) husband, Jim (48M), has a super stressful job. It’s not unusual for him to still be responding to emails at 11 p.m. or wake up to respond at 4 a.m. before getting ready to go to work.
I know he’s an incredibly hard worker and very goal- and career-oriented. I respect and appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family and ensure our older kids, who are out of the house, finish college debt-free.
I’m a SAHM to our 2 youngest, a 12-year-old boy and a 3-year-old boy.
In her day-to-day she takes care of the two kids and almost everything else.
Our 12-year-old is homeschooled because of medical needs. He’s immunocompromised, has ARFID, chronic migraines, and cyclic vomiting.
The 3-year-old is just a crazy toddler.
My day-to-day consists of taking care of the boys and school for my 12-year-old, cleaning the house, cooking, laundry once a week, running any errands needed, managing all the bills and finances, and managing Jim’s emotions when he comes home.
At home, Jim’s responsibilities are laundry once a week, mowing/weed-eating the yard, and fixing things when they need it.
Now, he wants her to do his laundry, but she doesn’t want to.
We both schedule our own car maintenance when needed.
Jim is asking me to take his time of laundry off his plate because he feels he has enough to deal with already between his job and the yard.
He says he never gets time to unwind, and me taking his share of laundry over would give him some time to himself for a few hours a week. But even when he does the laundry, I’m still the one to fold and put it away.
I don’t disagree that self-care time is important, and I wish I had that, too. So far, I’ve declined taking over Jim’s laundry day simply because I feel like I also have plenty on my plate already.
AITA?
Yikes! It’s easy to see both sides, but it sounds like they both already do a lot.
Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit think these two should do.
That’s a good question.
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For this reader, Jim’s boss is the villain.
Here’s a good way to look at it.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a girl who thinks her family is doing too much in criticizing the tidiness in her small space.
This man thinks her husband needs to get over it.
She already has a full-time job.
Taking care of two kids, homeschooling one of them, and running the house doesn’t leave much room for her to unwind either.
It’s understandable that her husband is exhausted, but that doesn’t mean his free time should come at her expense.
If anything, they need to figure out a way for both of them to get a break instead of simply moving more onto her plate.
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