Traditions for Christmas are such a joy, but does that mean you are unkind and unliked if you deviate from that tradition?

See why the young woman in this story thinks that may be the case.

AITA for not visiting my family for the holidays?

I lived with/really close to my parents for the majority of my life. In 2022, I started dating my boyfriend long distance (about 1k miles apart).

After about 1.5 years of us dating I decided that I wanted to move in with him. I had been really burnt out, and it was making me depressed. He offered to let me move in with him so I could focus on my art career, and I accepted.

She’s had a wonderful time with him.

It took me months to prepare, and my mom, dad, stepdad, and stepmom were all trying to talk me out of it the whole time. I love my family, but I’m an only child so they’ve always been weird about me being away from home for anything.

Fast forward to middle of last year (2024) I moved down there with my bf and have been pretty happy here. He takes care of me and I get to focus on my artwork and other things i never had time to do when i was living where i used to.

I grew up sheltered in a small town so he’s made sure over this past year to take me out to experience things i’ve never gotten to before and it’s been lovely!

I always share things that go on with my parents, sending them pictures and videos of our adventures, or simple pics of the animals his family has here, etc.

I don’t get the opportunity to talk on the phone often with my parents though, since my dad is a busy guy and my mom has health issues that make her sleep a lot so she’ll miss times I’ve set up to talk with her.

Lately i think that’s been getting to her cause she’ll get upset with me if i don’t message her for a few days. I  always feel bad about it.

I have severe untreated ADHD, so I can be forgetful.

But now things are different with her family.

She wanted me and my bf to come home and visit for the holidays. Dad is pretty well off so he offered to pay for it because i don’t make a lot off of commissions and my bf makes minimum wage.

But I had to wait until my bf got his schedule (he gets a week off for this time of year but we never know it super far in advance). This year, he didn’t get his schedule until about 2 weeks into December.

I sent a message over to my dad, assuming it was too late to get tickets (i checked and at that point two plane tickets home were over a grand) and he never responded.

I relayed this info to my mom when it happened, but I think she may not have understood because today (two days before Christmas) I mentioned that we were most likely going to visit my bf’s grandma for Christmas since I haven’t met her yet.

Now Mom seems mad.

My mom freaked out.

i reminded her that I told her we had found out his schedule too late and she left me on “Read.”

I’m anxious now because I feel like I’m either gonna get ignored, or worse: a long angry message about how I don’t care about her.

I love my mom, and I miss my family a lot, but we’re poor and there’s not much i could do without my dad’s help. I feel bad enough that i didn’t have enough money for gifts this year, let alone this.

AITA? should i be feeling as guilty as I am?

Here is what people are talking about.

Agreed!

True. They all seem immature.

Exactly. Who does that?!

Sounds like she is better off without them.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.