It’s funny how the people who use “family helps family” in arguments are always the ones needing help.

In today’s story, a woman shares how her stepfather is begging her to make a deposit for his daughter, but apparently, he forgot how he used to treat his stepkids.

So she just said no. Is she holding an unnecessary grudge?

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for refusing to help my step sister with her house purchase and telling her and my step father that it’s because of how they treated me as a child?

I’m 29F. When I was about 10, my mom married my stepfather. I have an older brother Luke who was 15.

My stepfather had Amy and Ada, who were 12 and 11.

We didn’t come from a privileged background, my mum was a min wage worker and my dad was absent. Our stepfather had a very good income.

Their deal was that they wouldn’t combine finances, and they would each contribute equally to the household, and then each takes care of their children with their spare money.

So my mum never had anything for us, and my step father was spending big on his kids.

It was like he wanted to show it off.

This included holidays which Luke and I were excluded from (stepfather would pay for mum, but not us).

Luke and I also shared a room, even though Amy and Ada had their own rooms and we had a guest room, because step father insisted that he was paying more towards the house so my mum’s share would only get her one room for the kids.

Luke and I were constantly teased for this situation by the three of them as we grew up.

My mum always said that we should be thankful because if it wasn’t for our step father we would not be living in a nice home in a good neighborhood.

This left a scar.

Anyway, Luke and I became determined to be able to take care of ourselves so that we wouldn’t need to take nonsense from anyone.

We have both done quite well with our careers and finances and we are in a very good place.

Since turning 18 and moving out my relationship with the three of them has been very limited.

I wouldn’t call us friends, but we can exist peacefully if we are in the same place.

But the tables have turned.

I visited my mum recently and my stepfather mentioned that Amy wants to buy a house now that she’s pregnant.

He asked me if I’m able to help out a little with the deposit.

The house is £500k and she needs a £150k deposit.

She has £100k so far.

£25k on her own, £25k from her mum and £50k from step father.

But she doesn’t want to contribute.

He was asking if Luke and I can help cover the extra £50k and he said he’d pay us back as part of the inheritance eventually.

I said no.

He insisted that Luke and I both own our houses outright and with our incomes so we should be able to help.

I said whether I can or not is irrelevant, my answer is no.

He reminded me that Luke and I each gave £10k to our cousin for buying a house as a gift, Amy is my sister and he’s offering to pay us back.

I said that was our choice then, this is my choice now.

She didn’t beat around the bush.

He insisted that we should be willing to help out our family if we’re able to, I replied back “like how you helped me and Luke when we were kids?”

Everyone just went quiet when I said this.

After a while, he said if we went back in time he’d have done things differently, treated all four of us equally.

I said that’s good of you but it doesn’t make you entitled to my money now.

He said he knows he’s not entitled, that’s why he’s asking and promising to pay it back, I said the answer still is no, not entitled to a loan either.

My mum later told me I could have turned him down without being a jerk or bringing up childhood, which he already feels guilty about.

AITA?

She wouldn’t be true to herself if she made that deposit.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this.

He pushed it.

Food for thought.

It is baffling.

Another reader shares their opinion.

Yeah, right. But he didn’t.

Exactly.

He made the bed, now he has to lie in it.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.