Grief is personal, and so is how you choose to honor someone you’ve lost.

A woman who recently lost her mother wanted to have flowers at the funeral as a small gesture of love. Her aunt, however, had other ideas — and she expressed those ideas loudly and without regard for anyone else’s feelings.

Her aunt had been pushing the family to donate the flower money to the care home where her mother had briefly stayed, and she even wanted to ask funeral guests to donate too.

However, the grieving daughter didn’t feel like the home had earned that level of recognition. After all, her mother had only been there for less than a day before she passed.

But every time she tried to say so, her aunt talked over her. So now she’s thinking about getting the flowers anyway.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for getting my mom flowers instead of donating money?

My mom passed away recently, and my sister and I are taking care of the funeral arrangements.

My mom never really cared for flowers, but I wanted to give her some at the funeral.

Her aunt has very different ideas about the arrangements.

My aunt keeps going on about how we shouldn’t give her flowers, but instead donate the money we would spend on the flowers to the home we placed her in because they took really good care of her.

She even told us to ask people who would come to also donate instead of bringing flowers.

The family continues to butt heads over the best course of action.

I personally feel like they didn’t do that much for her — she wasn’t even there for 24 hours before she passed away.

But every time I try to talk about it with my family, my aunt interrupts me and gets on a high horse about doing good for the community.

WIBTA if I went ahead and still got her flowers?

Losing a loved one is hard enough without all this extra drama.

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What did Reddit have to say?

Honoring someone who has passed is an extremely personal act.

This user agrees it’s silly to argue about something like this.

Surely there’s a better way to allocate the money.

Everyone handles grief differently.

Donating to a care home is a lovely gesture, but in this case, it just didn’t make sense.

At the end of the day, a good funeral reflects the person who lived, not the last place they happened to be. The daughter understood the context of her mother’s last moments. She felt that staying true to herself was more important than the pomp and circumstance of making a showy donation — and no one can fault her for that.

Losing a parent is hard enough without having to negotiate how to grieve.

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