Handling a loved one’s estate is never easy, especially when step-siblings are involved.

So, what would you do if you received a life insurance payout that legally belonged to you and your siblings, but your step-siblings expected a share?

Would you honor the original beneficiary list and keep the money among those who contributed to your mother’s care?

Or would you split it equally to avoid family conflict, even if it didn’t feel fair?

In the following story, a group of siblings find themselves in this exact predicament and are unsure what to do.

Here’s what they’re thinking.

WIBTAH (we BTAH) for not giving our step siblings money from our mom’s life insurance policy?

I (in my late 30s) have several older siblings and step-siblings.

My mom married their dad when I was very young.

Our dad passed several years ago, and my mom had early dementia.

After, she lived with my two eldest siblings for three and a half years.

They were her primary caregivers.

I and one other sibling live out of state but helped with her physical care when we could and also monetarily.

When my siblings could no longer care for her at home, we struggled with the decision but moved her into a memory care home, where she lived until her passing.

When our dad passed, we liquidated their major assets and used them for care costs.

His possessions were divided, but many high-value tools, etc, went to his children.

We were all ok with that.

We knew that my mom had taken out a term life insurance policy in the early 2000s and thought it was 40 or 50 thousand.

Her children helped care for her, but the step-kids, not so much.

At that time, she designated my dad as 40% beneficiary and her children as 12%.

We renewed the policy when the term was up.

Her assets went quickly in the care center since it was almost 7k a month.

When she ran out of money, one sibling and I covered most of the rest, with the others giving what they could afford.

One step-sibling contributed a couple hundred dollars at one time, and the others did not respond and did not contribute at all.

I believe they visited her once or twice near the very end, occasionally when she still lived at the house, but they never helped with her care.

They did receive some good news.

Here’s where it gets tricky.

The policy was much more than we expected.

Since our dad had passed, his share was equally divided between each of the other beneficiaries, ie my siblings and I.

We planned to pay everyone back for what they had contributed to her care and for the funeral and then divide the rest between us.

Now, they want to keep it in the immediate family.

We were going to give each step sibling a lesser amount as well, but worry that it could cause discord if they found out they didn’t get as much.

So they want to keep it all between us.

I pushed for an equal split.

They argue that the step-siblings did not help at all with her care, while the two oldest siblings spent years caring for her almost every single day with some help from the rest of us, and that she didn’t put them as beneficiaries when she was very much in her right mind.

I’ve argued that our dad would’ve wanted it equally split between all of us (he and my mom tried to be very fair and really did a lot for our step-siblings).

AITA?

Now, that’s a tricky situation.

Let’s check out what Reddit readers have to say about it.

This person thinks they should follow the mom’s wishes.

According to this comment, those who cared for her should get the money.

Here’s someone who agrees with how they want to handle it.

This person thinks everyone should split the money.

They should find a plan they agree on.

The most important thing here is that everyone who’s entitled to the money is on the same page.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.