Sometimes being too clever can also get you in trouble!

This banker shares how a customer wanted to get out of paying a minimum interest fee and ended up getting himself in bigger trouble!

The whole call was on a recorded line, and there were many notes with instructions for the banker to follow. He decided to make sure he did exactly as instructed even if that wasn’t what the customer really, truly wanted!

Check out why you shouldn’t mess with a banker.

Close all of your accounts? Sure thing!

I was employed as Customer Service Officer.

I’d been with the bank for about 18 months at this point, mostly working afternoon shifts, but recently the bank had moved to a 24 hour customer service model, so while most of the bank would be closed (Head office, Complaints, Credit etc) — we were still open.

Cast: Me, Night Manager, Customer, Head of Customer Relations and Retentions

Things will get interesting ahead…

Let me set the scene: ~10pm, midweek, fluorescent lights flicker overhead, the call board empty and I’m literally counting the seconds left in my shift, ready to go home.

phone call pops onto my screen

I think ‘DAMN! I always get a call just before I finish’

He just wanted to go home at this point!

Me (mustering my best customer service voice): “Hi, thanks for calling (bank), you’re speaking with u/Absurd-n-Nihilistic, how can I help you?”

I hear nothing but dead air, so I start to repeat myself.

“Hi, you’re speaking wi—“

When I hear the tone of voice and words every contact centre worker has heard at some point. It just lets you know you’re in for a great call (not!).

UH OH!

Customer: loud sigh “Yes! I’m here! God, what takes YOU people so long to answer?! What are you doing?”

As noted before, there was no calls on the board, this customer didn’t wait in queue. He would have dialled, gone through to the IVR to enter his customer number and pin before being put through to me. Max 60 seconds.

Me (trying to not provoke any further and get this customer off the phone as quickly as I can so I can go home) “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Our system doesn’t show a queue, but I’m sorry that you had to wait. What can I do for you this evening?”

Customer seems to settle down and starts explaining that the reason for the call was the interest charges on the most recent credit card bill.

This guy knows his job!

He was sure they were a mistake because “I always pay my bills on time” and “I don’t like paying you anymore than I have to”.

Charming, I know. So I place him on hold to look at his account.

I started looking at the payment history, when payments were due/received, what the balances were etc. Then, I quickly looked at the customer’s interaction notes.

This is where the bank records any contact with the customer as well as, any fee waivers, special interest rates etc.

He had to run a background check!

And I see an interesting series of notes from colleagues of mine stating things like “customer advised interest was charged due to full payment not received by due date. Customer threatened to close all accounts with bank. Manager approved interest waiver”.

Notes like this went on for months, until there was a note from the head of customer relations and retentions stating “if customer threatens to close accounts to seek waiver of fees, interest or other charges, please process immediately. No retention authorised”

I was a bit shocked because usually the bank would do a lot to keep existing customers, like they told us in training, ‘it’s cheaper to keep a customer, than it’s to gain a new one’.

Things looked really FISHY!

So I call over my night manager to read the notes and give him a heads up I’ve got a feeling the customer is going to be demanding another interest waiver.

My cool night manager said “well if he does, do what the note says”.

Total hold time: maybe 2 minutes.

I take the customer off hold and thank him for waiting.

Customer: “About time! My time is very valuable, you know. So have you fixed it yet?”

He tried giving the customer one last warning…

I start explaining that the interest charges are valid because he didn’t pay off his balance before the due date.

He goes ballistic!

He starts calling me every conceivable name under the sun and mid sentence stops, he plays it like he’s just had an idea “fine. If the interest charges are valid, I’m going to close my accounts. I want to close my accounts with you now!”

At this point I’m excited about putting him in his place but I also want to cover myself, so I ask:

He had to make sure the customer was serious.

Me: “So, just to be certain. You are instructing me to close all of your accounts with us, including your credit card, savings account and transactional account?”

Customer: “Are you stupid? That’s what I said!”

Lady’s and Gentlemen: We got him!

Me (Grinning): “Okay no problems. I’ll just place you on hold to do that for you.”

He did what the customer asked!

I hit the hold button fast just as I heard him say “no I—“

With my night manager’s help we close his accounts. His savings account was a term deposit so by breaking the term early he had to pay an early access fee of 10% of the balance.

We used the money in his transactional account to cover the outstanding balance in his credit card (including the interest) and sent a request for a cheque to be issued for the remaining money.

I took the customer off hold.

The customer was not happy.

Me: “again thank you for your patience. As requested your accounts are now closed. Was there anything else I can help with tonight?”

If I thought the customer went ballistic before, oh boy! There was talk of suing the bank, suing me, suing my night manager, suing head of customer relations and retentions.

That we were guilty of discrimination. That I didn’t have the authority to do what I did. He’s going to call the police. We’re thieves. Some other ways of telling me how useless I am and how I can kill myself.

You get the picture.

Things got even more interesting!

Me (still smiling because I know I nor anyone else at my bank will have to deal with this man again): “sir I understand you are upset. However, on a recorded phone call you instructed me to close your accounts. I’ve complied with your wishes. As there is nothing else for us to speak about tonight. Thank you for calling (bank) have a good night!” And hung up on him before he could say another word.

My night manager created a incident report and sent it to head of customer relations and retentions with an attached a copy of the call recording.

The bank supported its employee!

I later found out head of customer relations and retentions sent the customer a letter telling him he was banned from our bank for life due to the “vile and disgusting” way he had spoken to me!

We would never do business with him ever again and if he called or visited a branch, we would be the ones calling the police.

Do you want to know what the total interest charges were that started all this? ~$30.

His term deposit had $20,000 in it. He cost himself $2000 in early exit fees because he thought he could bully his way out of ~$30 in interest.

GEEZ! That sounds like so much fun!

The customer clearly didn’t understand what he was asking. He was such a bully about it too!

Let’s find out what folks on Reddit think about this one.

This user finds this story hilarious!

This user knows the customer deserved it!

This user thinks this is the best story ever!

This user knows this ordeal will cost the customer a lot!

This user thinks there’s a loophole in the story!

Someone’s clever mind got it wrong this time!

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.